Depression and sadness have a wide range of symptoms from unpleasant feelings to severely restricted behavior. It is not momentary disappointment or pain that leads to sadness or “the blues.” Everybody is sad once and a while. This is a normal part of life. Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness is pervasive and lasts for many weeks and much longer if not treated or a helpful solution found.

Depression ranges from mild to severe major depressive disorder (clinically depressed). When a person is clinically depressed, they may be at risk for committing suicide. The depressed individual needs to be monitored and treated by a qualified, competent, and caring mental health professional.

Some individuals are genetically predisposed to depression and have fewer natural defenses to ward of this condition. This is one of the reasons two people with identical experiences can respond so differently—i.e., one gets depressed and while the other one moves-on. Personality, together with numerous other variables, determine if someone will become depressed at all, and if they do, how serious it will be.

In most cases depression and long lasting sadness is triggered by an unwanted situation(s). Conflict with a partner; unemployment; lack of money; low self-esteem; illness; tragedy; death of a loved one or close friend are just a few of the many reasons people become depressed.

Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness can manifest itself in many different ways. Some signs are obvious to the sufferer and those that observe (family members, etc.) and for other depressed individuals the symptoms and causes of depression are hidden to both the suffer and the observers. There are many reasons why depression is hidden. It may be an effort to cope with painful feelings by denying them or it may be an ingrained attitude that minimizes problems/feelings. There are also many other reasons.

Observable signs of Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness:

1. Feeling sad regardless of what you do
2. Feeling hopeless
3. Loss of appetite or significant change in eating patterns (weight gain)
4. Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
5. Feeling helpless
6. Self-criticism
7. Difficulty concentrating
8. Not wanting to do things
9. Blaming others for problems
10. Not wanting to deal with problems

Not so observable signs of Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness:

1. Feeling irritable and angry
2. Feeling alone
3. Being critical and argumentative
4. Low energy
5. Not getting pleasure from activities that were enjoyed in the past
6. Negative disposition
7. Body pains (only a physician can determine if the “pain” is psychosomatic)

Mild Depression/Sadness

Mild depression/sadness is often undetected and not researched. As well, typically it is not life threatening as more severe varieties can be and doesn’t come to the attention of the authorities. Thus, useful statistics are hard to come by. However, it would be reasonable to suggest that many people have longstanding depressive feelings that are rooted in unresolved past trauma and loss as well as current relationship, health and monetary problems. Sadness is part of the “human condition.”

Major Depressive Disorder

• Major Depressive Disorder is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. for individuals aged 15-44
• Major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year
• While major depressive disorder can develop at any age, the median age at onset is 32.5
• Major depressive disorder is more prevalent in women than in men

Source: National Institute of Mental Health, 2010

Relationship “Depression/Sadness”

Bob works hard to take care of his family. Jenny, his wife, says he doesn’t know how to make her happy, even though he repeatedly tells her that he loves her. Lately, Jenny has been going out at night leaving Bob at home to take care of the kids, do laundry, and wait for her return. When he asks her where she is going she tells him it is none of his business and that she has a right to be happy. Bob is worried about his future with Jenny. He doesn’t know where it is headed. He feels defeated. Bob’s relationship problems have caused him to sink into a deep depression. He is no fun to be around. If he could come out of his funk (depression) he would have the energy to challenge Jenny and perhaps rebuild their marriage and regain the fun and romance they once had.

Fear of Future “Depression/Sadness”

1. Pamela ate healthy and worked out each day. She was as fit as could be. The prospect of major illness never entered her mind. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer she was devastated. When her treatments were over, and she got a “clean bill of health” from her doctors she found it hard to rejoice. The innocence that she once had, in which she felt invulnerable (that she never could get sick), was shattered by her cancer. Although she was now completely healthy and free to move forward with her life, she failed to do so. She neglected her health and social life. She couldn’t find a reason to live. Pamela was seriously depressed even though her body was completely cured.

2. John’s company was bought by an international corporation. Within six months of the “deal” his job was eliminated. At 48 years old his prospects for reemployment seemed bleak. Half-heartedly he sought employment. After being without a job for three months his world started to turn black. He wanted to sleep all day and when he was awake he just sat lifeless in front of the TV. His family watched helplessly as, before their very eyes, their once strong and confident husband/father shriveled-up.

3. Sally and Mark waited a long time before they felt they were ready to have a child. But when the time was right, with great enthusiasm they welcomed the baby into their family. With dedication and love they raised Karen. As a teen Karen fell into he wrong crowd. She got involved in drugs and before long, Karen was out-of-control. She dated a much older boy. Sally and Mark tried everything to straighten out Karen; reason, therapy, bribery, tough-love—but all to no avail. At twenty-years-old Karen was still just as challenging as when she was sixteen. Sally and Mark found it difficult to focus on anything other than Karen’s problems. All the joy in life they once had went away. They felt enveloped in sadness. They could not even enjoy their time together. Depression had sucked dry Sally and Mark’s zest for life. Yes, as loving parents they should try to help Karen, but outside those moments they should live life to the fullest with confidence and joy.

4. Paula was highly stressed. She had been this way for years. She really needed to learn how to relax. But her frequent panic attacks—which were a new dimension to her stress she had not experienced before—made relaxation extremely difficult. Feeling exhausted, scared, and out-of-control she sank into a depression. Her doctor gave her some pills to take, and to a point they helped, but they were not enough. She remained anxious and depressed.

Treated

The prognosis or outcome of treated “Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness” is a mixed bag. The outcome often depends on the severity of the condition; the effort the individual is willing to make to learn new and better coping skills; and his or her innate predisposition. Certainly, the majority of depressed and sad individuals, especially when they reach out to others for help, can lessen their sad feelings and learn to enjoy life. It may take work, but it can be done. Depression is a treatable condition. Happiness may come naturally for some, while for others it has to be won through sustained effort.

Untreated

If Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness is not treated, often it gets worse. For many sufferers, at the core of Depression/Long-Lasting Sadness are unhealthy thought patterns. When depression is allowed to exist unchallenged, over time these unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors are reinforced and become ‘second nature’, making the depression more difficult to eradicate. Eventually, even a person with a cheerful disposition, can affect his or her personality and replace the natural happiness with an unwanted and chronic sadness.

The Rock: Depression is like holding a heavy rock. The longer it is lifted, the more difficult it is to hold; so too with depression. The longer it is tolerated, the more painful it becomes. And like with a rock, if someone lends a hand and helps put the rock down, the strain of holding the rock is over. The same is true when someone helps another with depression—the pain (weight of depression) is lessened or set aside completely.