Unlike in previous generations, marriages are now voluntary. A committed relationship can start on a whim and end on one as well. And because of this, if for whatever reason a person is not feeling attracted to their partner they can choose to simply quit the relationship—no questions asked. Therefore, maintaining Romantic Passion is not an option–but a necessity. In this modern world, if a partnership is to be long-lasting and happy, it must be healthy. Romantic Passion is a pillar of relationship health.

• No sexual attraction for one’s partner
• Little interest in doing things as a couple
• Happier socializing with others—friends, coworkers, extended family, etc.
• Seeing the partner as the source of financial stability or contributing another practical commodity
• Partner blaming for all relationship problems

To date, we have not found any relevant research or statistics that would contribute in a meaningful way to this topic.

Romantic death by anger

John was frustrated. His wife routinely rebuffed his sexual advances. He felt he was half a man. He tried to explain this to Sarah, but no matter what he said, nothing changed. They were stuck. Together they went to a marriage therapist. Each described to the counselor their marriage as he and she experienced it. Sarah gave example after example of how John would get angry and criticize her. Listening to Sarah, It became clear to John why Sarah was pushing away his romantic efforts. His anger made her feel distant from him. She was afraid to get close. Now he understood he needed to control his anger and criticisms directed at Sarah.

Emotional and physical unattractiveness and the end of romance

Tina felt abandoned. Her married friends always talked “jokingly” about how their husbands could never get enough sex. But her husband Don seemed to be cut from a different cloth. He was downright disinterested in sex. Sometimes Tina’s mind would wonder if he was getting it somewhere else. When she swallowed her pride and challenged him about his lack of sexual interest in her, he blamed her for contradicting and always telling him what to do. He explained how he felt disrespected and he had lost his interest in being with her. Tina had also gained forty-five pounds and Don explained he was not attracted to her when she looked obese.

Outside interference and the death of marital romance

Jared was having an affair with his secretary — plain and simple! And his “girl-friend” insisted he have sex only with her — not with his wife. Jared did his best to comply. This explains why he and Mary lived like brother and sister.

Lack of Romantic Passion can easily be treated. However, a complete cure depends on many variables. Some of these variables are easy to control to improve attractiveness. Others are more difficult.

Certainly, with appropriate effort and regardless of the cause of the problem, romance can be increased. For most couples, the starting point is a willingness to directly and openly discuss the current situation and together decided what improvements should be sought and how to archive them.

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Without “Romantic Passion” and a plan on how to change things around to bring it back, the continuation of the relationship is at risk. Even if the two individuals decide to continue living together as “brother and sister,” they will both be frustrated and unfulfilled. As well, there is always the risk that the situation can get completely out-of-control and an outside person can become involved in the primary relationship. The stress this creates will certainly kill whatever is left of the marriage or partnership.

Coming Soon!