Self-Esteem is everything! Why? Because your Self-Esteem influence all that you do: Your level of confidence, ability to persevere, choice of friends and much more. In a sense, you are your Self-Esteem.

Self-Esteem is not always consistent in all areas of a person’s life. A person may have high Self-Esteem at work but not socially, or the other way around.

Since you are your Self-Esteem, and you are the center of your life, healthy and strong Self-Esteem is essential to success in all that is important to you.

Children start out life with healthy Self-Esteem. But for many, family problems, school difficulties, or a disability can cause this naturally strong and healthy self esteem to erode. If this is true for you, it now becomes your responsibility — as an adult — to fix it.

• Underachieving
• Feeling unimportant
• Difficulty asserting oneself
• Pessimism
• Choosing inappropriate friends
• Being hard on oneself
• Lack of work ethic
• Overachieving
• Inability to communicate effectively
• Effort to control others
• Avoiding personal challenges
• Feeling insecure
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Giving-up easily

Please note: Many of the above conditions can be attributed to other causes.

It is not possible to measure Self-Esteem or the lack of it. Self-Esteem is a very “spiritual” dimension of the human psyche. However, the external “signs” of low Self-Esteem are many and there prevalence in the general population is common. Thus, it is reasonable to surmise that many, if not most individuals suffer from low Self-Esteem.

Child of divorce low Self-Esteem.

Sam hated when his parents would argue. When they did he would retreat to his room and turn on music so he couldn’t hear. Often they would fight about Sam, his father always wanting his mother to be “tougher” and not “to spoil him.” At about eleven-years-old, his parents started threatening to divorce each other. Sam got really scared. He didn’t want them to divorce. He was terrified what would happen to him. He decided that if he would be the “perfect” son, maybe they would stop arguing. He did his best to help around the house, keep his room clean and talk respectfully. He even tried to break-up some of their fights telling them to be nice to each other. One day, Sam’s dreams (or delusions) were shattered when his dad told him he was leaving and moving to another city. Sam felt it was “his fault” his parents separated. If only he had been a better son, he could have kept his family together. For years after his father left, seeing his mother so unhappy and poor, he felt terrible. He felt like he was the worst boy in the world. He was often pained with guilt over what had happened always blaming himself for the breakup of his family. As an adult, Sam still felt bad. Certainly he would not ruin a second family so he never married and had children of his own. He loved children and became a school teacher. Sam’s Self-Esteem was so low he suffered from chronic depression and anxiety.

Low Self-Esteem and poor partner choice.

Growing-up, Sandra was constantly criticized by her mother. After years of such treatment she had a very low opinion of herself. As a teen, she gave herself to any boy that would have her, and she did whatever he wanted. She had absolutely no sense of self. Understandably, since “having her” was the only criteria, she made no effort to find a proper and responsible partner. No matter how “bad” her partner was, she did not feel she deserved better. By the time she was in her thirties, she was a single mom with three children from two different partners.

Low Self-Esteem education

As a preschooler, Kalman was a bright, talkative, precocious child. He was actually, amongst his siblings, his parents’ favorite. When Kalman entered formal schooling, everything began to change. He consistently got poor marks and could hardly read. By the time he was in second grade, he was convinced he was “stupid.” When he was tested by the school psychologist and it was revealed he had a learning disability. However, the tests also determined he was actually intellectually gifted. Kalman’s parents didn’t fully understand what it mean his having a “learning disability” and they soon forgot everything the psychologist had told them and recommended. Kalman continued to fail at his studies, and felt more and more “dumb” as time passed by. His Self-Esteem, once strong and vibrant, was slowly eroding into feelings of worthlessness and despair. Now, as an adult he took menial jobs that hardly covered his expenses. He was afraid to marry and have a family—not know if he could support them. His siblings all had steady and respectable jobs. Kalman was unhappy. In his late twenties he took to drinking. By the time he was forty he had serious health problems.

Treated

Rebuilding Self-Esteem is a long-term “project.” However, with good results the overall improvement in the quality of life makes the effort worthwhile. You will feel better about yourself and you will more likely fulfill your fullest potential.

With treatment you will get the following benefits:

• You will feel better about yourself and your life.
• You will be more confident.
• You will be more courageous.
• You will be more resilient to disappointment.
• You will more easily embrace change.
• You will have natural immunity to help ward off anxiety and depression.
• You will welcome and embrace closeness with other people.
• You will feel comfortable when you decide to spend time alone with just yourself.

Untreated

Without treatment little will change. Generally, for most individuals with low Self-Esteem, this condition is stable over a lifetime. If you suffer from low Self-Esteem, likely you will have more of the same for many years to come.

However, as the months and years pass, the problems caused by low self-esteem add up and compound. So if you are going to make a decisive effort to improve your feelings about yourself, the sooner you do so the better.

Coming Soon!