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Relationship

URGENT CARE.coM

fix a broken marriage, free marriage counseling, online marriage counseling

Prevent Divorce

emotinally abusive husband, emotionaly abusive wife, emotional abuse

Stop Emotional Abuse

surviving infidelity, cheating husband, cheating wife

Survive Infidelity

You are in the right place!  We have the best SOLUTIONS for YOU

Let us give you PRACTICAL and INEXPENSIVE solutions to "relationship problems" that tear families apart and create personal stress and mental illness.

PREVENT DIVORCE

Divorce hurts everyone: the two partners, children, extended family, and friends. Certainly, sometimes divorce is necessary, but most often it can be prevented. Marriage is a science. When you know what "to do," and you "do it," you can have a happy and long-lasting relationship. Learn how to prevent divorce. Click, learn how to prevent divorce...

STOP EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, domestic violence are all WRONG and cannot be justified! Many individuals who abuse do so because they don't know any other way. Abusers can change — if they want! Victims of abuse can free themselves from relationship tyranny — if they want! Click, learn how to stop emotional abuse...

SURVIVE INFIDELITY

Reversing the negative impact infidelity has on a family or couple is not easy and the means to do so are complicated. However, under certain circumstances and with proper guidance a relationship can be repaired and love and trust established — sometimes the relationship can become better than it was before the infidelity. Click, learn how to survive infidelity...

True stories from the files of marriage therapist Abe Kass MA, RSW, RMFT, CCHT

Prevent Divorce

Problem:
Laura and John had been married for five years, and they had one young son.

 

John believed he could share with his wife ALL his thoughts and feelings. When he did, he was critical, harsh, and opinionated. Laura felt uncomfortable, misunderstood, and put-down.

 

Since childhood, Laura had been shy and sensitive. The strong emotions she felt when upset would frighten her to the point where she froze-up and could not speak.

 

When John would "speak out"  with a loud voice and pointed opinions, Laura would feel intimidated and would then withdraw.

 

When John would ask her what was wrong, she would mumble, "Nothing," while her faced flushed red and tears rolled down her cheeks. Every time John would ask what the problem was, Laura would just repeat her one word, "Nothing."

 

Not wanting to see his wife cry and unhappy, John would get upset when she would not tell him what the problem was. He wanted to "fix" the problem. However, when Laura kept her feelings to herself, John felt powerless and would then become angry. He didn't know how to handle a situation that was beyond his control.

 

At this point, after years of not knowing how to correct the problem, Laura and John did not feel safe around each other. Both felt misunderstood so they stoped communicating. 

 

There loneliness was most intense when they were home at the same time.

 

Laura and John protected themselves by avoiding each other. Unhappy and disillusioned, they wondered why they stayed married.

Solution:

Laura and John had three sessions with a relationship specialist who gave them some insight into their problems. The therapist recommended some reading material for both of them.

 

Laura learned to be more assertive and to express her feelings. She told John she didn't like his strong opinions and negative comments. 

 

John never understood that his strong words had such a negative impact on Laura. He was relieved to know what was "the problem," because now he could do something to improve the situation.

 

John began to filter what he said to Laura so she would feel comfortable around him. He was more positive in speech and talked less about "Laura" to Laura.

 

Gradually their comfort and closeness with each other returned. They were grateful that they had done the needed relationship work  that led to peace, happiness and relationship longevity.

Stop Emotonal Abuse

Problem:
Matt and Cindy were married for 17 years. They had four children aged from three-years-old to 14-years-old.

 

Matt's mother had passed away when he was about six-years-old. His father was devastated by the loss of his wife. He became an angry and hardhearted man. Matt did not experience tenderness growing up. His father was harsh and neglectful.

 

After Matt married, he treated his wife and children cruelly, demanding that they do whatever he wanted. As a successful lawyer, Matt felt he was entitled to make all the decisions. Matt used anger to bully each family member to submit to his will.

 

Cindy was depressed and anxious because of her marriage, and the children were having problems at school. Cindy knew something was seriously wrong in her family, but she did not know what.


Solution:
Cindy educated herself about abuse and realized that what Matt was doing was wrong and could not be justified. With the help of a close girlfriend, she found the courage to take the children and moving in with her parents.

 

Matt was devastated when Cindy and the children left. He never thought he could lose his family.

 

Cindy agreed to a limited relationship with Matt provided they go for therapy and educate themselves about abuse. Matt objected. He did not want to speak to anyone or read any books. Cindy remained strong and told Matt she would not return home unless he cooperated and learned about abuse and how to be a proper husband and father.

 

The more Matt learned about emotional abuse, anger, and marriage intimacy, the more he came to realize how bad his behavior had been. Looking objectively at himself, he did not want to be that person that everyone feared.

 

Six months after Cindy left with the children they returned home. Matt was a different person. He recognized that Cindy had the same rights as he, and that she was entitled to kindness and respect.

 

Cindy was very appreciative that Matt had done a "personality makeover." Their love-life that had stopped years before, returned as she naturally grew close to Matt.

 

Matt was appreciative that Cindy had stood up to him.  This was a wake-up-call and had given him the opportunity to change his ways and become a better person. He appreciated the second chance he got, and that he could continue to be fully present in the lives of his children.

Surviving infidelity

Problem:
Tina and Mark had been together for six years. Two years earlier they married.

 

Tina work as a teacher in a neighborhood school.

 

Cory was a new teacher in the school where Tina worked. Cory and Tina had a natural affinity for one another since as students they had I attended the same high school and had many friends in common.

 

Tina and Cory began meeting after work for coffee. After a few weeks, strong feelings of attraction developed between them. When Tina was going out to be with Cory, she would lie to Mark saying she had work meetings to attend, when in fact she had planned a romantic liaison with Cory. Mark would gladly cover for Tina, feeling she was progressing in her career and wanted to be supportive. He had no idea that she was cheating on him.

 

One evening, Tina forgot her cellphone in the bathroom. The next morning when Mark was using the bathroom he noticed many messages on the screen. Some of these messages had come in the middle of the night. This made no sense to Mark, he was nervous about what this could mean. Opening up Tina's phone, Mark discovered a long list of messages between Tina and an unknown man named Corey. Looking closer, Mark saw sexually provocative pictures that had been exchanged and messages of love and lust. Mark was devastated.

 

With the phone evidence in his hand, Mark confronted Tina. With tears in her eyes, all Tina could do what is to admit her guilt and apologize.

Solution:
Tina and Mark were devastated. They were numb and had no idea what to do next.

 

They began reading books and information found on Amazon and other websites. They came to realize that infidelity, although a tragic mistake, is, in fact, forgivable under certain circumstances.

 

Tina ended her relationship with Corey and promised to Look for a teaching position in a different school. Together that they went for infidelity recovery therapy and marriage therapy from a relationship specialist who encouraged them to try to get through this and stay together. It took Tina and Mark two years of heavy-duty therapy until finally, they felt they were ready to proceed forward on their own. During the months of therapy, their love and trust returned.

 

Tina was grateful to Mark who forgave her and for giving the two of them a second chance to be a family. Sometime later, Tina gave birth to a delightful little girl.

 

During a tender moment, Mark commented that although he hated her cheating, he appreciated that it had given them a chance to fix their other relationship problems. Tina loved Mark and was grateful for his strength of character and commitment to her and his help getting through the mess that she had created.