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The Web's #1 Site For Relationship Healing

Love, Respect and Friendship Can Be Yours — when you know HOW to fix your broken marriage or committed relationship. Relationship repair begins with YOU. Get started NOW!

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Hi, this is professional couple therapist Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT CCHT,

I teach individuals from around the world how to improve their relationships.

Are you in a difficult relationship? If yes, I have solutions for you.

Explore my site. Find the help you need to fix your marriage or committed relationship.

I am also available for personal consultations and therapy.


These are my FOUR core beliefs that guide my professional work:

1. Men and women have DIFFERENT emotional needs

2. Men primarily want to PERFORM FOR OTHERS

3. Women primarily want to JOIN WITH OTHERS

4. Men and women are EQUAL in value and opportunity


These are some of the many books I have written that are currently available for purchase and download from Amazon and other vendors:

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Get FREE and IMMEDIATE Relationship Help

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE OR COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP

Divorce hurts everyone: the two partners, children, extended family, and friends. Sometimes divorce is necessary, but most often it can be prevented. Marriage is a science —learn how to save your marriage. When you know what "to do," and you "do it," you can have a happy and long-lasting relationship. Learn more:

Save My Relationship

STOP EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, domestic violence are all WRONG and cannot be justified! Many individuals that abuse, do so because they don't know any other way. Victims of abuse can free themselves. Abusers can change when they want. Learn more:

Stop Emotional Abuse

SURVIVE INFIDELITY

Reversing the devastating impact infidelity has is not easy and the means to do so are complicated. However, with proper guidance most relationships can be repaired and love and trust established. Learn more:

Survive Infidelity

True stories from the files of relationship expert Abe Kass MA RSW RMFT CCHT

Save My Relationship

Problem:
Laura and John had been married for five years and they had one young son.

 

John believed he could share  ALL his thoughts and feelings with his wife. When he spoke, he was critical, harsh, and opinionated. Laura felt uncomfortable, misunderstood, and put-down by the way John spoke.

 

Since childhood, Laura had been shy and sensitive. When she got upset her strong emotional response would frighten her to the point where she would freeze-up and could not speak.

 

When John would 'speak out' his pointed opinions in  a loud voice, Laura would feel upset and intimidated and would then withdraw.

 

When John would ask her what was wrong, she would mumble, "Nothing," while her faced flushed red and tears rolled down her cheeks. Every time John would ask what the problem was, Laura would just repeat one word, "Nothing."

 

Not wanting to see his wife cry and unhappy, John would get upset that she would not tell him what was the problem. He wanted to "fix" the problem. However, when Laura kept her feelings to herself, John felt powerless and would then become angry. He didn't know how to handle a situation that was beyond his control.

 

At this point, after years of not knowing how to correct the problem, Laura and John did not feel safe around each other. Both felt they were misunderstood, so they stopped communicating with each other.

 

Their loneliness was most intense when they were home at the same time.

 

Laura and John protected themselves by avoiding each other. Unhappy and disillusioned, they wondered why they stayed married.

Solution:

Laura and John had three sessions with a relationship specialist who gave them some insight into their problems. The therapist recommended some reading material for both of them.

 

Laura learned to be more assertive and to express her feelings. She told John she didn't like his strong opinions and negative comments. 

 

John never understood that his strong words had such a negative impact on Laura. He was relieved to know what was "the problem" because now he could do something to improve the situation.

 

John began to filter what he said to Laura so she would feel comfortable around him. He was more positive in speech and talked less about "Laura" to Laura.

 

Gradually their comfort and closeness with each other returned. They were grateful that they had done the necessary relationship work that led to peace, happiness and a chance for relationship longevity.

Stop Emotonal Abuse

Problem:
Matt and Cindy were married for 17 years. They had four children aged from three-years-old to 14-years-old.

 

Matt's mother had passed away when he was about six-years-old. His father was devastated by the loss of his wife. He became an angry and hardhearted man. Matt did not experience tenderness growing up. His father was harsh and neglectful.

 

After Matt married, he treated his wife and children cruelly, demanding that they do whatever he wanted. As a successful lawyer, Matt felt he was entitled to make all the decisions. Matt used anger to bully each family member to submit to his will.

 

Cindy was depressed and anxious because of her marriage, and the children were having problems at school. Cindy knew something was seriously wrong in her family, but she did not know what.


Solution:
Cindy found articles on my website and read them. She educated herself about abuse and realized that what Matt was doing was wrong and could not be justified. With the help of a close girlfriend, she found the courage to take the children and move in with her parents.

 

Matt was devastated when Cindy and the children left. He never thought he would lose his family.

 

Cindy agreed to a limited relationship with Matt provided they go for therapy and educate themselves about abuse. Although Matt did not want to speak to anyone or read any books, he did want to save his marriage so he reluctantly agreed to go for therapy. 

 

In therapy Matt learned about emotional abuse, anger, and marriage intimacy, and he came to realize how bad his behavior had been. Looking objectively at himself, he did not want to be that person that everyone feared.

 

Six months after Cindy left with the children they returned home. Matt was a different person. He recognized that Cindy had the same rights as he, and that she was entitled to kindness and respect.

 

Cindy was very appreciative that Matt had done a "personality makeover." Their love-life that had stopped years before, returned as she naturally grew close to Matt.

 

Matt was appreciative that Cindy had stood up to him. This was a wake-up-call and had given him the opportunity to change his ways and become a better person. He appreciated the second chance he got, and that he could continue to be fully present in the lives of his children. (In many cases the abuser can 'wake-up' and recognize his or her need to change and it is not necessary for their partner to leave.)

Surviving infidelity

Problem:
Tina and Mark had been together for six years. Two years earlier they married.

 

Tina worked as a teacher in a neighborhood school.

 

Cory was a new teacher in the school where Tina worked. Cory and Tina had a natural affinity for one another since as students they had I attended the same high school and had many friends in common.

 

Tina and Cory began meeting after work for coffee. After a few weeks, strong feelings of attraction developed between them. When Tina was going out to be with Cory, she would lie to Mark saying she had work meetings to attend.  Mark would gladly cover for Tina, feeling she was progressing in her career and wanted to be supportive. He had no idea that she was cheating on him.

 

One evening, Tina forgot her cellphone in the bathroom. The next morning when Mark was using the bathroom he noticed many messages on the screen. Some of these messages had come in the middle of the night. This made no sense to Mark, he was nervous about what this could mean. Opening up Tina's phone, Mark discovered a long list of messages between Tina and an unknown man named Corey. Looking closer, Mark saw sexually provocative pictures that had been exchanged and messages of love and lust. Mark was devastated.

 

With the phone evidence in his hand, Mark confronted Tina. With tears in her eyes, all Tina could do was admit her guilt and apologize.

Solution:
Tina and Mark were both devastated, Mark by the betrayal and Tina from feelings of guilt. They were numb and had no idea what to do next.

 

They began reading books and information found on  websites. They came to realize that infidelity, although a tragic mistake, is in fact, forgivable under certain circumstances.

 

Together that they went for infidelity recovery therapy and marriage therapy from a relationship specialist who encouraged them to try to get through this crisis and stay together since they both still had feelings for each other. Tina ended her relationship with Corey and transferred to a new school to avoid seeing Corey. Tina and Mark two remained in intensive relationship therapy for two years until finally, they felt they were ready to proceed forward on their own. During the months of therapy, their love and trust returned.

 

Tina was grateful to Mark who forgave her and gave  the two of them a second chance to be a family. Sometime later, Tina gave birth to a delightful baby girl.

 

During a tender moment, Mark commented that although he hated her cheating, he appreciated that it had given them a chance to fix their other relationship problems. Tina loved Mark. She was grateful for his strength of character and commitment to her and she appreciated his help getting through the mess that she had created.