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Free marriage counseling: Fake It Until You Make It Acts of Love

Feelings often lead to action. Sometimes the opposite is also true. Try letting your positive actions lead to positive feelings. Behave in a loving way with your partner —  even if you don't feel like it —  and it is very possible that genuine loving feelings will quickly follow.

You may not be convinced that "faking it" makes sense. That is fine, just try it as an experiment for a week or two and see what happens. You might be surprised!

Think of yourself as a Hollywood actor or actress. You are a gifted entertainer and you can play the part perfectly. Your part in this movie is to behave with love and respect toward your spouse.

You need to convince the audience that you really love your husband or wife. Make a list of 10 loving behaviors.

You may want to print this exercise for ease of use. Click the Print Friendly button above. From there you can also format this exercise into a PDF file or email it to a friend. Note: Printing from a computer works best.

Describe 10 acts of love:

1.



2.

3.


4.



5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

 

Each day, pick at least three of the loving behaviors on your list and do them. Write down what they were and how your partner responded.

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner at the time you were behaving in a loving way.

As a good actor or actress you know that you are just playing a role, it has nothing to do with your actual or past life. As a performer, you are strictly living in the here and now. Keep this in mind as you complete this exercise.

When you have completed this exercise, set aside some time to evaluate the cumulative results of this experiment.

Day 1

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.


 

 What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 


 

Day  2

What three acts of love did you do?

1.



2.


3.

 

What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 


 

Day  3

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.


 

What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 



Day  4

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.



What was your partner's response?

 


 



Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 



Day  5

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.



What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 



Day  6

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.


 

What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 



Day  7

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.



What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.

 


 



Day  8

What three acts of love did you do?

1.


2.


3.


 

What was your partner's response?

 


 


 

Describe any changes in your feelings toward your partner while you were performing an act of love.