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anger management, anger control, anger help

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Emotional abuse: Abusive relationships can ruin your life

Posted by Abe Kass on Thu, Feb 5, 2015 @ 08:02 AM

Are you one of the many people that live in an abusive relationship? If so, you need to do something to stop this unacceptable situation. For many, encouraging an abusive husband or wife to take an anger management test can increase self-awareness and lead to a positive solution.

Abusive relationships can ruin your life

Abusive relationships are devastating for those that live in one.

If you have ever suffered from emotional abuse, you know how painful it can be.

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Topics: Abusive relationships

Free anger management tips: Extreme anger and women!

Posted by Abe Kass on Tue, Jan 20, 2015 @ 08:01 AM

Women, like men, can manifest extreme anger that injures health, relationships, and personal self-esteem. If you are a woman, you are advised to learn how to deal with anger so you can contribute to health and harmony.

Extreme anger and women!

Women tend to express anger with sarcastic and shaming words. Often, the target of a woman’s anger is drawn into protracted and exhausting arguments that can go on for long periods of time. 

Would you like free anger management worksheets to help you with your marriage?

Because a woman’s extreme anger is sometimes expressed with less obvious emotion than that of a man's, it is not always easily recognized as anger. Nonetheless, it is anger and is just as harmful as that of a man’s and she needs to learn how to relieve anger if she is to develop healthy and successful relationships.

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Topics: Anger management tips

Free anger management: Three tips to avoid the anger trap

Posted by Abe Kass on Mon, Jan 12, 2015 @ 08:01 AM

Extreme anger is not just shouting and breaking things. Extreme anger includes holding a grudge and chronic resentment toward your partner. The primary cause of many types of extreme anger is "the anger trap." Keep reading to learn more:

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Topics: Anger management tips

Free anger management tips: Know your enemy – the Anger Dragon!

Posted by Abe Kass on Thu, Dec 11, 2014 @ 08:12 AM

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be lucky in their relationships? Sexual attractiveness, money, and status certainly help! But they are only secondary factors.

Research has shown that we are attracted to happy people. The opposite of happy people are negative people, and the unhappiest of negative people are typically the people who emote high levels of anger. These are people that have never learned how to deal with anger.

When you are angry, you are emotionally ugly! (Take the anger quiz below to see where you stand)

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Topics: Anger management tips

Free anger management tips: Are you passive-aggressive? Find out!

Posted by Abe Kass on Thu, Dec 4, 2014 @ 12:12 PM

Anger comes in many shapes, sizes, and colors. One of the most insidious forms is referred to as "passive-aggressive" anger.

Passive-aggressive anger is unique in that it is a camouflaged anger. Typically, the person expressing passive-aggressive anger and the person it is directed toward cannot easily identify it as an act of hostility.

Take the "passive-aggressive" anger management test below

Because of the hidden nature this of this type of anger, it is very difficult to eliminate or hold the person responsible for it accountable. Frequently, the person responsible for passive-aggressive anger is not even aware of the hostile feelings behind the unflattering comments directed toward another.

Passive-aggressive anger is often expressed with sarcasm, jokes about somebody, body language indicating displeasure, refusing to talk, talking to oneself in the presence of the person one is anger with, emotional cutoffs, grunts and other unclear expressions.

There are two types of angry people that rely heavily on passive-aggressive anger to do their dirty work. There is the person that lacks the ability to be assertive and therefore cannot be upfront and open about their feelings with another. There is another type of person that is very crafty and recognizes the distinct advantages of passive-aggressive anger and then uses it to try to achieve his or her purpose.

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Topics: Anger management tips

Anger management techniques: Take the Test for "Secret Anger"

Posted by Abe Kass on Tue, Dec 2, 2014 @ 08:12 AM

When you are angry — it's not what you think it is! Anger is a secondary feeling. When angry, search within yourself for what is really bothering you.

Do you feel ignored, abandoned or misunderstood, etc.? Knowing what the real problem is will help you take appropriate actions to solve it.

One of the most useful anger management techniques is being able to see behind the curtain of anger and pinpoint what is actually bothering you.

Take the anger management test for hidden / "secret" anger.

If you can easily answer the following questions, you are good at figuring out what is behind your anger:

-The last time you expressed anger, what was happening just before you were triggered; what you were thinking / feeling. Here are some hints:
-You felt disrespected?
-You felt unloved?
-You felt you were misunderstood?
-You felt you were unappreciated?
-You felt something else (fill in what it was) _____?

Now put it all together. Repeat the following filling in the blanks: "When I was angry, it was because _____ (the name of a person) _____ did _____ (what he or she did) ______ and I felt _____ (put in the feeling) _____.

This anger management test will sensitize you to the thoughts and feelings behind the anger. If you can't do it, I suggest you buy an anger management course or find a therapist to help you learn anger management techniques on how to deal with anger.

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Topics: Anger management test

Free anger management tips: THOUGHTS THAT STOP ANGER!

Posted by Abe Kass on Fri, Nov 28, 2014 @ 14:11 PM

YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK! YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! That being the case... you CAN control how you think and you CAN use your mind to control your anger.

Yes, it is an amazing thing the mind! BUT IT IS NOT YOU. You are not your kidneys, your stomach, or any other particular organ or gland. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

Your brain in its physical form or your mind in its more functional form is in your body... one organ amongst many.

Thus the mind, as are all your organs, can to some degree be influenced using various efforts and substances  — medicinal, exercise, self-discipline, food, or environment conditions, etc.

With regards to your mind, the more you direct what it thinks about, the more this organ can then effectively serve you. For example, your mind is the instrument that affords you the opportunity to use anger management techniques. [If you would like more detail on anger management you can download my free anger management tips consumer guide and take our anger management test.]

To achieve mind discipline, for some pure will power is sufficient; others need to learn how to exert control via self-education, meditation, or some other type of mental discipline.

To this end, I have written two unique anger management books. One is an audio anger management book with the essential anger management techniques needed to stay calm and the other is an anger management workbook complete with anger management worksheets to help you develop influence over your mind.

Learn more: Anger management audio book with the necessary anger management techniques to stay calm / Anger management workbook with anger management worksheets to develop mental strength.

Both of these anger management books are designed for ease of use and require only a few minutes of your time each day.They work well with our anger management tips online and have some of the best anger management techniques we have seen online.

Realistically, full control over what your mind thinks about is impossible, but some control in critical areas of your life is helpful and at times essential. Establishing that control over how you think in these areas is worth the effort since the benefits are substantial.

Not sure if you have an anger problem? Take an anger management test.

Using your thoughts to eliminate or reduce anger is one area that should be mastered by everyone.

Angry feelings start with a thought. These anger-provoking thoughts may be so quick you may not even notice them. However, without a first thought, there can be no awareness and thus no reaction.

For example, a sleeping person will never get angry. This is because at the time of sleep, there is no awareness  — no thoughts. Upon awakening, and the emergence of thoughts, many events can lead to angry feelings that can then lead to angry behavior.

Examples of anger-provoking thoughts and their transformation to calming-thoughts:

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Topics: Anger management tips

Anger management quiz: The connection between anger and self-esteem?

Posted by Abe Kass on Wed, Nov 26, 2014 @ 08:11 AM

The answer to your anger management quiz is simple: Anger and self-esteem are directly connected. You may not have thought about it until now, but let me explain.

When you become angry in the moment, it feels like the right thing to do. But afterward, if you're like most people, you feel shame, embarrassment and regret.

Venting your anger in many ways is like getting drunk. Besides impairing you're thinking, once you're finished with the "anger high," you're left with a hangover — you feel terrible!

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After the anger drifts off, and you consider what has just happened, you feel humiliated, embarrassed, and ashamed. Having negative self-feelings like these will slowly chip away at your self-esteem. There are few emotions that we are as bothered by as shame — it is a powerful body-blow to our self-esteem.

As if this "anger hangover" was not enough, it has a ripple effect meaning that people think poorly about the person who got angry and in work settings they are often demoted or even fired. Within families, angry people are feared and resented. All of the after effects of anger explosions lead to self-doubt, rejection, and isolation.

Simply, people who get angry frequently swim in a sea of negative emotions. This is a self-esteem wipe-out, just as a tsunami is an environmental disaster.

Staying calm and in control will have the opposite effect. It will allow you to feel good about yourself and build your self-esteem. For those of you who already have low self-esteem, staying calm, using your anger management techniques, and not responding with anger to what goes on around you is a wonderful way to build self-esteem.

When you're calm and in control, you feel good. Feeling good about yourself is the fertile ground upon which healthy self-esteem grows.

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Topics: Anger management test

Free anger management tips: Stay Calm... Perform Better At Work

Posted by Abe Kass on Thu, Nov 20, 2014 @ 08:11 AM

Behaving calmly is the opposite of being angry and stressed. Being calm and being angry are mutually exclusive feelings. You cannot be both at the same time. Knowing how to deal with anger is one of the best anger management techniques to advance your career.

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Topics: Anger management tips

Free anger management tips: Stay Calm And You Will Be Healthier

Posted by Abe Kass on Wed, Nov 19, 2014 @ 08:11 AM

When you avoid anger and stay calm, you will be physically healthier and perhaps even live longer. Being calm is one of the greatest of health tonics know to humankind. It is a well-established medical fact that being at peace is healthy for body and soul.

In my birth-family, one member was always blowing-his-lid. He would yell, threaten, throw things, and even push others. In his fifties, he developed heart disease and went on to have several strokes. There is nothing new in this story — only a reminder to not let this happen to you or someone you love.

Not sure if you are angry. Take the anger management quiz.

John was always getting sick. His doctor told him to learn how to relax and how to overcoming anger. John changed his attitude about life, avoided getting angry, and started a new hobby. Two years later, he was at the peak of health.

Sarah was a busy professional. She often got headaches. She started working out at the gym and found it relaxing. She also tried overcoming anger and frustration. Her stress headaches decreased significantly once she learned how to relieve anger in her life.

How to relieve anger

According to Dr. Laura Kubzansky, PhD, MPH, associate professor at the Harvard School of Public Health, those people that behave with explosive anger which includes screaming at others and throwing things or carrying within rage, may be at a greater risk for heart disease.

Jerry Kiffer, MA, a heart-brain researcher at the Cleveland Clinic's Psychological Testing Center, suggest when angry blood vessels constrict, blood pressure goes up, and other physiological responses impact on the body that can lead to damage to artery walls.

Journal of the American College of Cardiology, analyzing 44 studies that link emotional with heart disease. They suggest that chronically angry adults may have a 19% higher chance to develop heart disease whereas those already living with heart disease have a 24% more likelihood of receiving a poor prognosis. (

Two of the most unsettling emotions are depression and anger. Typically it is not noticed, however depression and anger often go hand-in-hand. People don't like to feel helpless and hopeless — these being the feelings that fuel circumstantial depression. If you suffer from depression, seeking solutions to overcoming anger to this problem along with a good course or book on anger management are both essential. Overcoming anger and how to relieve anger needs to be at the top of your priority list.

Would you like free anger management tips?

Stress is a major contributor to poor health. No one argues with this fact. Anger for many individuals is the greatest source of their day to day stress. This is why the antidote to anger is to be calm.

Understand, becoming angry solves nothing! When you express anger, what catches everyone's attention is only your anger, not the "reasons" you are angry. So even if your opinion or point of view is valid, it is lost in the anger drama.

The takeaway: Unless you are calm don't communicate because no one is listening. When you couple this with the fact you are injuring your health and achieving nothing in return… it should be obvious getting angry is completely foolish. The reality, angry people often become burdened with circumstantial depression because they don't communicate effectively and achieve very little of value in their lives!

Learn how to control your anger using our free anger management tips, stay calm, and communicate effectively. Doing so will help ward off heart disease and other serious stress related illnesses.

[If you would like more detail on anger management you can download my free anger management tips consumer guide.]

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Topics: Anger management tips, How to relieve anger

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