The answer to your anger management quiz is simple: Anger and self-esteem are directly connected. You may not have thought about it until now, but let me explain.
When you become angry in the moment, it feels like the right thing to do. But afterward, if you're like most people, you feel shame, embarrassment and regret.
Venting your anger in many ways is like getting drunk. Besides impairing you're thinking, once you're finished with the "anger high," you're left with a hangover — you feel terrible!
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After the anger drifts off, and you consider what has just happened, you feel humiliated, embarrassed, and ashamed. Having negative self-feelings like these will slowly chip away at your self-esteem. There are few emotions that we are as bothered by as shame — it is a powerful body-blow to our self-esteem.
As if this "anger hangover" was not enough, it has a ripple effect meaning that people think poorly about the person who got angry and in work settings they are often demoted or even fired. Within families, angry people are feared and resented. All of the after effects of anger explosions lead to self-doubt, rejection, and isolation.
Simply, people who get angry frequently swim in a sea of negative emotions. This is a self-esteem wipe-out, just as a tsunami is an environmental disaster.
Staying calm and in control will have the opposite effect. It will allow you to feel good about yourself and build your self-esteem. For those of you who already have low self-esteem, staying calm, using your anger management techniques, and not responding with anger to what goes on around you is a wonderful way to build self-esteem.
When you're calm and in control, you feel good. Feeling good about yourself is the fertile ground upon which healthy self-esteem grows.