Find out in 2-minutes if you are living with an emotional abuser!
This scientific based Emotional Abuse Test has been taken by more than a half a million individuals! (534,000 November, 2019)
Living with respect and kindness are a human right. Accepting abuse is a choice! Give your partner an opportunity to stop being an abuser and if he or she does not change for the better — quit the relationship and STOP the abuse! THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
Learn the TRUTH about your marriage or committed relationship... and if there is emotional abuse, what to do and where to get help.
This Emotional Abuse Test is based on solid scientific research. It has been designed to help couples determine if their relationship is similar to other couples who live in abusive relationships.
(If you don't want to take the Emotional Abuse Test, you can still learn more about emotional abuse and other types of abuse — psychological abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, domestic violence — by scrolling down past this Emotional Abuse Test.)
Note: The results of this Emotional Abuse Test are not definitive and for the most accurate results seek the counsel of a certified relationship specialist. The author of this site, Abe Kass, assumes no responsibility for any inaccuracies or unintended misinformation. The user of this Emotional Abuse Test and associated information does so at his or her own risk. Read more about the science behind our Emotional Abuse Test
0 - 26. You have a healthy relationship, and it is unlikely it is or will become an abusive relationship.
Your partner behaves respectfully and kindly towards you. You are fortunate! Hopefully, you also treat your partner with kindness and respect. Your future together looks good.
27 - 40. You are reasonably safe from emotional abuse or if it present, it is minor.
Your answers to the emotional abuse test show that for the most part, your relationship is in good shape. However, if you and your partner are not careful your relationship could slip into a situation where it becomes abusive.
I suggest that you and your partner invest some time and effort in learning healthy relationship skills. Most likely, you can do this using self-help books, audio programs, or relationship enhancement courses.
Monitor relationship interactions that include bickering, anger, reduced romance/sex or ignoring each other. These are relationship viruses that if not dealt with when they first start could lead to relationship decay that can be difficult to reverse.
Keep reading for the test scores that indicate emotional abuse. You will help yourself if you buy my definitive guide on emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse available on Amazon for only a few dollars. More information is available at the bottom of this page.
41 - 60. Based on your score, there is a likelihood of some abuse and/or violence and you need to make some significant changes in your relationship to be safe and build a healthy committed relationship or marriage.
Your score indicates at times your partner behaves disrespectfully, cruelly, and abusively.
If you are the victim, explain (or find someone to help you) to your partner the benefit of respectful attitudes and behaviors and how wrong abuse is.
Know, as bad as your somewhat abusive relationship is now, it could get worse! Strong intervention is the best way to prevent relationship abuse from getting even worse.
If you need to get outside help — do so. Keeping the problems “secret” is one of the worst things you can do. Secrecy helps an abuser maintain his or her dominance since the abuse cannot be challenged if no one speaks or reacts to it.
It is very important to know your partner may not be intentionally trying to hurt you, and if he or she is given a few relationship lessons the abuse could potentially stop.
If the bad relationship patterns are allowed to go on unchallenged, likely the abuse will get worse.
Assistance from a qualified relationship specialist can be of great assistance to you. Also, you can find self-help programs available such as books on abuse, audio programs on abuse, or courses on abuse.
Because your relationship may have some abuse, buying my book on emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and psychological abuse will be useful. My professional book, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know is available on Amazon for just a few dollars.
Knowledge is a powerful tool to help you prevent abuse. See below for more information about The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know.
61 - 100. Based on your score, there is a likelihood of severe emotional abuse and/or violence. You need to get outside help to assist you in establishing a safe home to live in. Afterward, you can then consider your relationship options.
Based on your score from the Emotional Abuse Test, it seems like there is serious abuse in your relationship.
It is important to get an outside professional to help accurately evaluate the quality of your relationship and whether or not there are safety risks to you or other family members. Sadly, many individuals have died by the hands of their abusers. Keeping yourself safe should be your number one priority.
After the assessment is made, you should be presented with recommendations and options to help you decide what to do next.
What is most important is to understand that respect and kindness are a 'human right' — not something that needs to be earned. If someone is treating you abusively you need to take decisive action to end it and prevent it from reoccurring in the future.
One of the most direct steps you can take to STOP the abuse in your relationship is to buy my professional book on emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and psychological abuse, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know which is available on Amazon for just a few dollars.
Knowledge is a powerful weapon to help you stop the abuse in your relationship and hopefully replace it with respect, kindness, and love. See below for more information about The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know.
If you are in an emotionally abusive marriage or committed relationship follow these 12-steps to FREE yourself:
The 12 PRINCIPLED POSITIONS To End The Abuse
1. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to humiliate, shame, degrade, curse or threaten you.
2. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to intimidate, control or force you to do something you don't want to do.
3. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to trivialize your feelings, ideas or values.
4. Silent treatment emotional abuse is an act of hostility. Do not accept such a treatment from your partner.
5. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not surrender your independence and autonomy by submitting to your partner's will.
6. Do not accept extreme selfishness from your partner to the point where it is dismissive of your needs and wants.
7. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to isolate you from family or friends.
8. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to withhold money or confiscate your personal belongings such as car keys, phone, or other personal property.
9. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to touch you in a hostile way or to threaten to do so by making his hand into a fist, or getting very lose to your face with his face, or any other menacing and threatening way.
10. Make a decision for yourself and take a firm stand you will not allow your partner to behave in an extremely jealous and possessive way that impacts on your peace of mind, challenges your dignity, and restricts your freedom.
11. Get outside help if you need it. DON'T REMAIN SILENT. This is what your abuser wants you to do! Don't cooperate and unintentionally allow the abuse to continue!
12. Recognize that you do not need to live as an abused person. If you want, you can leave your abusive partner. If you decide to leave, get help if needed to ensure your safety as you tell your partner of your plans and as you organize and implement your exit. Family and friends can help. The police are available to ensure your safety. In some situations, it is advisable to consult a family law lawyer.
If you allow emotional abuse to be a part of your everyday life, likely you will feel anxious and eventually depressed. The longer this continues, the more likely your self-esteem will be injured and the more difficult it will be for you to heal once the abuse has ended.
Equally of concern when emotional abuse continues is the risk of physical violence. If there already is physical violence you need to get immediate help from trusted authorities. Read more about domestic violence and physical abuse.
If physical abuse and domestic violence are currently not present, but you allow the emotional abuse to continue, it can unexpectedly erupt into physical violence. Sadly, many wonderful people have died by the hands of their partner!
Remember, "safety always comes first" — protect yourself and other family members.
If you are emotionally abused, you do not need to be alone in this crisis. There are many good, competent, and caring people ready to help. You just need to take the first-step and reach-out and contact them.
Seek help for emotional abuse or domestic violence from:
As well, during times of a crisis, you can reach out to friends and family for help. However, you should ALSO get professional help. Family and friends mean well, however they are not trained to deal with the complex and dangerous situations as many abused individuals find themselves in.
Should it turn out that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, understand that knowing this truth — that you ARE in fact in an emotionally abusive relationship — is an opportunity to then take the needed steps to improve your marriage or committed relationship.
Don't accept emotional abuse. Learn how to turn around your emotional abuse marriage or emotionally abusive relationship and make it better... and if you can't do that… how to free yourself from clutches of an unrepentant abuser.
You have taken the Emotional Abuse Test... now get professional guidance to free yourself from being abused!
I have written an essential guide that will give you practical steps to free yourself from abuse and move on to a healthy life.
If you suffer from:
this book is for you.
My ground-breaking book on emotional abuse, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know is easily purchased from at Amazon as a book or immediate download.In this authoritative guide, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know, you will learn:
Real comments by some of the "verified purchasers" on Amazon:
-Fantastic book for anyone who thinks they may be in an abusive relationship. Great look into the signs of emotional abuse and how to deal with it. I found a great deal of help in this book in learning to deal with emotional abuse from my wife. Get this book. Get help and most of all take your life back.
-I appreciated the list of specifics for identifying emotional abuse and specific actions for stopping emotional abuse.
-A good read. Helpful.
-Easy to understand and remember information, to keep yourself aware of what you need to know in order to keep your sanity.
Hi, this is Abe Kass, MA, RSW, RMFT, CCHT. I am a registered social worker, registered couple and family therapist, certified Clinical hypnotherapist, and award-winning educator and writer. I have a busy family therapy practice working with individuals, couples, and their families. I have authored more than 20 relationship books, many of which are available on Amazon (go to Amazon website and type in "Abe Kass").
I know what you need to know about abuse because I have been in the trenches of relationship conflict, specializing in couple abuse, for 25-years as a professional couple and family therapist.
Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and psychological abuse are not abstract concepts for me as it is with most writers on this topic. Daily in my clinical practice I work energetically to free individuals from abusive relationships. I know first hand "what abuse is" and what you need to do to "free yourself from abuse."
In my authoritative book, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know, as a seasoned and master relationship therapist I will guide you on how to STOP the abuse in your marriage or committed relationship.
You can easily order my book, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know from Amazon.
With the click of a few buttons you can have The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know on your computer or handheld device or order it as a paperback.
My book, The 15 Essential Facts Victims of Emotional Abuse Need to Know tells you in simple words what you need to know and what you need to do to FREE yourself from abuse and get yourself to a place of health and happiness.
This Emotional Abuse Test is adapted and slightly 'modified' by Abe Kass from: THE INTIMATE JUSTICE SCALE: AN INSTRUMENT TO SCREEN FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AND PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IN CLINICAL PRACTICE By Brian Jory, Ph.D. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, January 2004, Volume 30, Number 1, 29 – 44. You can read this article at: Wiley Online Library, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.