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Free marriage counseling: Just Listen

Often when we talk, we don't feel understood!

Often when we listen, we wonder why our speaking partner repeats or raises his or her voice!

The answer is always the same — the person talking is not listened to and the person listening does not hear. Learn how to fix this communication problem.

Read below "Just Listen" to your partner. Then take five or ten minutes to calmly talk about whatever you want. Take turns. Read "Just Listen" each time before you speak.

You may want to print this exercise for ease of use. Click the Print Friendly button above. From there you can also format this exercise into a PDF file or email it to a friend. Note: Printing from a computer works best. 

Say to your partner:

Just Listen.

Don't talk.

If you comment on what I say, you have not done what I need.

When I need you to just listen, and you tell me my feelings are wrong  I am hurt!

When you hear what I say and then you tell me what to do, you have failed me – I don't want advice!

I am strong, even if in the moment I am not sure. Just listen.

I am asking for something very simple – just listen and nothing more.

When you listen and let me share with you my thoughts and feelings, regardless of your opinion on what I am saying, I can then stop trying to prove myself to you. I can then reflect on what I am saying and understand better what is behind my words.

Just listen. Help me make sense of myself.

Please just listen and do your best to understand what I am saying.

When I am done, when I pause, you can ask me simple questions to understand more about of what I am saying.

Wait your turn, and I will then listen to you.