A better solution is for you and your partner to learn how to love and respect each other. A good marriage or committed relationship is science — when you know what to do, and you do it, you will have a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.
In the process of my work as a professional marriage counselor, I have discovered eight marriage rules that when followed will automatically build for you a healthy marriage or committed relationship.
The choice to live by these eight marriage rules is not because an authority is telling you to follow them, but because you understand the reasoning behind each of one of these marriage rules and they make sense to you.
In the past, religious, social, financial, and sexual considerations forced individuals to remain married even when they were exhausted by their marriage problems and unhappy. Love in marriage were not essential ingredients in past generations. When love was missing, our grandparents, even when they were unhappy with each other, stayed together and raised their children and then together died of old age.
This ability to endure, as it was in past generations, no longer exists for most couples!
Contemporary social values and opportunities have changed marriage forever. We all live in a very different world than that of our grandparents and great-grandparents! For us, love and marriage are like a hand and a glove — it is very difficult to have one without the other.
Contemporary times offers men and women the opportunity to be single or coupled. Men and women decide to live as a couple only when they see a clear advantage over life as a single individual.
In these modern times, individuals easily go from living together to detaching and living separate or divorced… and then in a flash start all over again with someone new. Marriages and committed relationships in these contemporary times are fragile.
Relationships more than ever succeed precisely because they are loving. And when a marriage or committed relationship isn't loving, one way or another it will fall apart.
Contemporary marriages and committed relationships need passion!
Passion is a personal feeling; it fuels the love keeping it strong and healthy.
Passion is an internal feeling of attraction to your partner that overrides moments of disappointment or hurt.
Passion is the attraction you and your partner have for each other.
Without passion, you and your partner won't want to spend time together. When you and your partner don't like to be together, your relationship is in serious trouble!
A good marriage or committed relationship is science! When you know the formula, or as I call them, the "marriage rules," you will then and you let them guide your relationship, you will automatically generate passionate in your marriage or committed relationship.
Marriage-Intelligence teaches you how to use your everyday relationship behavior to generate passion and build lasting love.
I call these "marriage rules" The 8 Acts of Love
Here describe briefly are The 8 Acts of Love (If you want more information on each Love Act, you can buy my book on Amazon. See below.). These are the same "relationship rules" I teach my paying clients in my Marriage-Intelligence therapy sessions and you get an outline of these marriage or committed relationship rules for free:
Kindness between you and your partner is the substance that binds the two of you together. In large doses, kindness increases marital health, happiness, and longevity. Kindness is the essential ingredient found in all successful marriages.
If your marriage or committed relationship lacks kindness, then it is time to turn it around. It is time for you to immediately behave kindly with your partner.
Being kind is a unilateral
And in "being kind," your partner may be inspired to do likewise.
Have ever wondered how to fix a broken marriage? Answer: The starting point to fixing your marriage if it is broken is with unconditional kindness.
Kindness is one of the most important of all the relationship building skills available to couples wanting a healthy, happy and long-lasting marriage.
Being anger-free is necessary if you and your partner are to feel love and passion for each other.
Why is being anger-free so important? Simple, anger and love don’t mix.
Anger kills your marriage or committed relationship on two fronts: One, there is no love and; two, it is replaced with fear. And no one wants to live in a cold, lonely and fearful marriage.
Marriage can and should be warm, friendly and peaceful.
Clinical experience has taught that anger is the cause of more relationship breakups and misery than all other marriage problems combined.
Those marriages that suffer from anger are constantly challenged by how to fix a broken marriage. The pain and misery anger afflicts is great and
If you want to love and be loved — get rid of your expressions of anger. This is one of the most important
Without anger, you can be calm, patient, nonjudgmental, and easy going… character traits that will make you irresistible to your partner.
Exclusivity is the essence of marriage or a committed relationship — it is what defines your relationship.
Without exclusivity, your unique relationship with your partner could then be replicated with a work colleague,
Exclusivity is the intimate physical and emotional experience you and your partner share with each other, and it is self-understood that it is to be shared with no one else.
If you are concealing from your partner a relationship with someone outside your marriage, this is a strong signal that you should not be having this relationship at all!
Exclusivity is a "must have" relationship building skill.
Living comfortably with another person requires mutual acceptance.
Head this free marriage advice from a professional that knows. A marriage lacking in acceptance will be a marriage of friction, rejection, and condemnation. Such a marriage or committed relationship will be bitter, and it may even become a relationship not wanted.
Don't think in terms of making your partner a "better person." Don't chair the partner improvement committee. To do so is an invitation for relationship problems. Rather, embed in your mind the mantra: "I am okay; you are okay."
Yes, there are times to share with your partner your needs or disappointments, but they must be done in a very controlled, respectful and constructive way… and most importantly, infrequently.
When your partner senses your accepting attitude, he or she will feel loved and you will never struggle with the question of how to fix a broken marriage. Your marriage — when the two of you are accepting of each other — will be happy and healthy.
Be sensitive to, and protective of, your partner’s
Let your feelings be a guide to help you measure your words and actions. Ask yourself, "If this was said about me, how would I feel?" If the answer is,"embarrassed, humiliated or shamed," then don't say it to your partner or say it to another person about your partner.
Don’t carelessly or maliciously tarnish your partner’s image in the eyes of others leaving him or her feeling low, worthless, unloved, and unprotected.
Marital and committed relationship intimacy would cease were you or your partner to believe that sharing with each other personal details would later be disclosed to others; fear of exposure would cause an emotional withdrawal from the relationship.
Privacy is paramount to a healthy marriage. It is essential if there is to be intimacy, trust, and goodwill. Guard your privacy — build a fence around your marriage and don't let anyone in.
The personal details you know about your partner, and he or she about
Not sure what should be kept private? Ask your partner.
Keep your marriage or committed relationship private. Your partner will appreciate the sanctity you create, and he or she will respect you for your sensitivity to his or her feelings. Head this valuable and free marriage advice for a healthy relationship.
Loyalty is an essential quality found in all well-functioning marriages or committed relationships. Loyalty is not based on judgment or opinion. Rather, it is based on your unconditional decision to side with your partner.
Loyalty is an extremely powerful tool to strengthen your marriage or committed relationship. It demonstrates to your partner that he or she is the number one person in your life; disloyalty proves otherwise.
Being loyal may not always be easy — but it is always the right thing to do!
Be loyal to your partner and insist upon the same in return. Loyalty strengthens your relationship and gives each of you a feeling of safety, being loved, being cared for, and being respected.
Love fuels feelings to be close and involved with your partner and he or she with you. It is the source of attraction that keeps the relationship exciting.
However, love doesn't always come automatically. Rather, there are things you do and things you don't do that increase or decrease the amount of love between you and your partner. When you perform The 8 Acts of Love as recommended, you automatically generate passion and increase the amount of love in your marriage.
Love binds you and your partner together.
As blood is to the body, love is to a marriage. When your love is healthy and in abundance, your life is happy, your family secure, and
There is much truth to the saying: "Love makes the world go round."
Bickering, fighting, disrespecting is marriage rot. The antidote to "marriage rot" is having a passionate marriage — a marriage filled with love, commitment, enthusiasm, fun, and romance. Using The 8 Acts of Love to guide your marriage or committed relationship will automatically generate the passion needed to build a loving marriage.