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Hi, this is marriage therapist Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT CCHT

Having worked twenty-five years as a professional marriage therapist helping couples of all backgrounds fix their broken marriage and prevent divorce, I have come to understand that a good marriage is governed by universal principles and rules.

When you and your partner are Marriage Builders, and you consistently utilize these universal principals to govern your relationship, your marriage or committed relationship will succeed.

As you can depend on the laws of gravity to keep your feet on the ground, so too you can be sure when you follow these universal principals that you will build for yourself and your loved ones a healthy and happy home.

A good relationship is a science. When you know what to do, and you do it... your marriage or committed relationship will be healthy, happy, and long-lasting. 

The 8 Marriage and Committed Relationship Rules

Having a "good marriage" is not enough to ensure its survival! You need in these modern times of relationship opportunity a "great marriage" to just "stay married."

But to just "stay married" is ALSO not enough! You need and deserve a passionate marriage so that you and your partner will enjoy being together.

As an experienced marriage therapist of more than twenty years, I am giving you now marriage self-help to enrich your marriage going forward. You are about to receive relationship building skills to build a passionate marriage.

Marriage is science! When you know the formula, or as I call them, the "marriage rules," you will then know how to build a passionate marriage.

If these marriage rules are missing and you choose to stay together for convenience, your marriage will be one of bickering, loneliness and without romance.

Here are the necessary marriage rules to build a passionate relationship and if necessary how to fix a broken marriage.

I call these "marriage rules" The 8 Acts of Love, since when you perform an Act of Love you are adding more "love" to your marriage:

Here are The 8 Acts of Love:

Free marriage counseling Love Act #1: Be Kind

Kindness between you and your partner is the substance that binds the two of you together. In large doses, kindness increases marital health, happiness, and longevity. Kindness is the essential ingredient found in all successful marriages.

If your marriage lacks kindness, then it is time to turn it around. It is time for you to immediately behave kindly with your partner.

Being kind is a unilateral behavior! You can decide on your own to be kind and then follow through with your good intentions. Being kind does not involve anyone else.

And in "being kind," your partner may be inspired to do likewise.

Have ever wondered how to fix a broken marriage? Answer: The starting point to fixing your marriage if it is broken is with unconditional kindness.

Kindness is one of the most important of all the relationship building skills available to couples wanting a healthy, happy and long-lasting marriage.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #2: Be Without Anger

Being anger-free is necessary if you and your partner are to feel love and passion for each other.

Why is being anger-free so important? Simple, anger and love don’t mix.

Anger kills your marriage on two fronts: One, there is no love and; two, it is replaced with fear. And no one wants to live in a cold, lonely and fearful marriage.

Marriage can and should be warm, friendly and peaceful.

Clinical experience has taught that anger is the cause of more relationship breakups and misery than all other marriage problems combined.

Those marriages that suffer from anger are constantly challenged by how to fix a broken marriage. The pain and misery anger afflicts is great and long lasting.

If you want to love and be loved — get rid of your expressions of anger. This is one of the most important relationship building skills available to married couples.

Without anger, you can be calm, patient, nonjudgmental, and easy going… character traits that will make you irresistible to your partner.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #3: Be Exclusive (Don't fraternize with the opposite sex!)

Exclusivity is the essence of marriage — it is what defines your partnership as a marriage or committed relationship.

Without exclusivity, your unique relationship with your partner could then be replicated with a work colleague, neighbor, friend, or casual acquaintance. And if that were to be the case, that special magic that you have with your husband or wife would be lost, and your marriage would be drained of its passion and sanctity.

Exclusivity is the intimate physical and emotional experience you and your partner share with each other, and it is self-understood that it is to be shared with no one else.

If you are concealing from your partner a relationship with someone outside your marriage, this is a strong signal that you should not be having this relationship at all!

Exclusivity is a "must have" relationship building skill.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #4: Be Accepting

Living comfortably with another person requires mutual acceptance.

Head this free marriage advice from a professional that knows. A marriage lacking in acceptance will be a marriage of friction, rejection, and condemnation. Such a marriage will be bitter, and it may even become a relationship not wanted.

Don't think in terms of making your partner a "better person." Don't chair the partner improvement committee. To do so is an invitation for relationship problems. Rather, embed in your mind the mantra: "I am okay; you are okay."

Yes, there are times to share with your partner your needs or disappointments, but they must be done in a very controlled, respectful and constructive way… and most importantly, infrequently.

When your partner senses your accepting attitude, he or she will feel loved and you will never struggle with the question of how to fix a broken marriage. Your marriage — when the two of you are accepting of each other — will be happy and healthy.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #5: Honor Your Spouse

Be sensitive to, and protective of, your partner’s honor and feelings of self-worth. Carefully order your words so as not to shame or embarrass.

Let your feelings be a guide to help you measure your words and actions. Ask yourself, "If this was said about me, how would I feel?" If the answer is,"embarrassed, humiliated or shamed," then don't say it to your partner or say it to another person about your partner.

Honor is fragile. When pulled and twisted it is difficult to set right. Take this free marriage advice to heart and you will eliminate much relationship pain.

Don’t carelessly or maliciously tarnish your partner’s image in the eyes of others leaving him or her feeling low, worthless, unloved, and unprotected.

Honor your partner, praise him or her directly and in the presence of others. You will be rewarded with your partner’s love, loyalty, and affection.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #6: Be Private

Marital intimacy would cease were you or your partner to believe that sharing with each other personal details would later be disclosed to others; fear of exposure would cause an emotional withdrawal from the relationship.

Privacy is paramount to a healthy marriage. It is essential if there is to be intimacy, trust, and goodwill. Guard your privacy — build a fence around your marriage and don't let anyone in.

The personal details you know about your partner, and he or she about you, must be kept to yourselves. Knowing that what you and your partner discuss will be kept confidential, encourages the sharing of personal information.

Not sure what should be kept private? Ask your partner.

Keep your marriage private. Your partner will appreciate the sanctity you create, and he or she will respect you for your sensitivity to his or her feelings. Head this valuable and free marriage advice for a healthy relationship.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #7: Be Loyal

Loyalty is an essential quality found in all well-functioning marriages. Loyalty is not based on judgment or opinion. Rather, it is based on your unconditional decision to side with your partner.

Loyalty is an extremely powerful tool to strengthen your marriage. It demonstrates to your partner that he or she is the number one person in your life; disloyalty proves otherwise.

Being loyal may not always be easy — but it is always the right thing to do!

Be loyal to your partner and insist upon the same in return. Loyalty strengthens your relationship and gives each of you a feeling of safety, being loved, being cared for, and being respected.

Apply this marriage self-help advice and you will never need to ask me or another marriage therapist how to fix a broken marriage.

Free marriage counseling Love Act #8: Live With Love

Love fuels feelings to be close and involved with your partner and he or she with you. It is the source of attraction that keeps the relationship exciting.

However, love doesn't always come automatically. Rather, there are things you do and things you don't do that increase or decrease the amount of love between you and your partner. When you perform The 8 Acts of Love as recommended in this guide, you automatically increase the amount of love in your marriage.

Not sure what else to do to increase love in your marriage? Just ask your partner: "What makes you feel loved?" Learn from what your partner says... and turn your partner's requests into deeds performed. Doing so will make your partner feel loved.

Love binds you and your partner together.

As blood is to the body, love is to a marriage. When your love is healthy and in abundance, your life is happy, your family secure, and your future bright.

Remember this essential marriage self-help wisdom and apply it daily to your relationship.

There is much truth to the saying: "Love makes the world go round."

Bickering is marriage rot. The antidote to "marriage rot" is having a passionate marriage — a marriage filled with love, commitment, enthusiasm, fun and romance. Filling your married life with The 8 Acts of Love will automatically build for you a passionate marriage.

More to come...

Get more than this "sample" of the eight marriage rules for a passionate marriage. Buy for only a few dollars an entire book that describes in practical detail how to make a passionate marriage. Included in this marriage self-help book are "true" stories of couples wanting to know how to fix a broken marriage and suceeding.

Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage  —  The 8 Acts of Love will give you the effectiveness and power of professional marriage counseling in the privacy and comfort of your home.

Learn more about my marriage self-help book, Marriage Rules for a Passionate MarriageThe 8 Acts of Love. Click to learn more about building a passionate marriage.

A best self-help book for men and women looking to build their marriage or committed relationship — by relationship expert Abe Kass, author of this site and certified marriage and family therapist:

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A successful marriage or committed relationship is a science. A successful marriage or committed relationship is not chemistry, luck, or genetics. When you know 'how,' you can build a great connection with your partner. In this book, The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage, you will learn the eight most essential rules that when followed will lead to friendship, respect, love, and passion.

Click or Tap to learn more: A best self-help book for women and men looking to prevent divorce and build their marriage or committed relationship

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

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Nonviolent Communication

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Marriage and Committed Relationship Map that will help you identify deficiencies in your relationship and accompanying tools to strengthen these areas of behavior. 

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Marriage science: The 8 Marriage and Committed Relationship Rules

Marriage is science! When you know the formula, or as I call them, the "marriage rules," you will then know how to build a passionate marriage. If these marriage rules are missing and you choose to stay together for convenience, your marriage will be one of bickering, loneliness and without romance. Here are the marriage rules I call "The 8 Acts of Love."

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FREE Reference Guides

Your one page reference guide highlights the three primary tasks necessary to achieve your specific goal. Download this PDF directly to your electronic device. If you like you can print it and keep it with you at all times to review as needed.