Divorce is nasty and should be considered only when there are no other options. This is especially true when there are children. In most situations, even if you and your partner split and 'your nightmare' is over, for your child(ren) the nightmare is now theirs. For most of their lives they will need to live with the many pains coming from a broken home.
A better solution is for you and your partner to learn how to love and respect each other. A good marriage or committed relationship is science — when you know what to do, and you do it, you will have a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.
Become a Marriage and Committed Relationship Builder using our Marriage-Intelligence. Learn how to PREVENT DIVORCE.
In the process of my work as a professional marriage counselor, I have discovered eight marriage rules that when followed will automatically build for you a healthy marriage or committed relationship.
The choice to live by these eight marriage rules is not because an authority is telling you to follow them, but because you understand the reasoning behind each of one of these marriage rules and they make sense to you.
In the past, religious, social, financial, and sexual considerations forced individuals to remain married even when they were exhausted by their marriage problems and unhappy. Love in marriage were not essential ingredients in past generations. When love was missing, our grandparents, even when they were unhappy with each other, stayed together and raised their children and then together died of old age.
This ability to endure, as it was in past generations, no longer exists for most couples!
Contemporary social values and opportunities have changed marriage forever. We all live in a very different world than that of our grandparents and great-grandparents! For us, love and marriage are like a hand and a glove — it is very difficult to have one without the other.
Contemporary times offers men and women the opportunity to be single or coupled. Men and women decide to live as a couple only when they see a clear advantage over life as a single individual.
In these modern times, individuals easily go from living together to detaching and living separate or divorced… and then in a flash start all over again with someone new. Marriages and committed relationships in these contemporary times are fragile.
Relationships more than ever succeed precisely because they are loving. And when a marriage or committed relationship isn't loving, one way or another it will fall apart.
Contemporary marriages and committed relationships need passion!
Passion is a personal feeling; it fuels the love keeping it strong and healthy.
Passion is an internal feeling of attraction to your partner that overrides moments of disappointment or hurt.
Passion is the attraction you and your partner have for each other.
Without passion, you and your partner won't want to spend time together. When you and your partner don't like to be together, your relationship is in serious trouble!
A good marriage or committed relationship is science! When you know the formula, or as I call them, the "marriage rules," you will then and you let them guide your relationship, you will automatically generate passionate in your marriage or committed relationship.
Marriage-Intelligence teaches you how to use your everyday relationship behavior to generate passion and build lasting love.
I call these "marriage rules" The 8 Acts of Love
Here describe briefly are The 8 Acts of Love (If you want more information on each Love Act, you can buy my book on Amazon. See below.). These are the same "relationship rules" I teach my paying clients in my Marriage-Intelligence therapy sessions and you get an outline of these marriage or committed relationship rules for free:
Kindness between you and your partner is the substance that binds the two of you together. In large doses, kindness increases marital health, happiness, and longevity. Kindness is the essential ingredient found in all successful marriages.
If your marriage or committed relationship lacks kindness, then it is time to turn it around. It is time for you to immediately behave kindly with your partner.
Being kind is a unilateral
And in "being kind," your partner may be inspired to do likewise.
Have ever wondered how to fix a broken marriage? Answer: The starting point to fixing your marriage if it is broken is with unconditional kindness.
Kindness is one of the most important of all the relationship building skills available to couples wanting a healthy, happy and long-lasting marriage.
Being anger-free is necessary if you and your partner are to feel love and passion for each other.
Why is being anger-free so important? Simple, anger and love don’t mix.
Anger kills your marriage or committed relationship on two fronts: One, there is no love and; two, it is replaced with fear. And no one wants to live in a cold, lonely and fearful marriage.
Marriage can and should be warm, friendly and peaceful.
Clinical experience has taught that anger is the cause of more relationship breakups and misery than all other marriage problems combined.
Those marriages that suffer from anger are constantly challenged by how to fix a broken marriage. The pain and misery anger afflicts is great and
If you want to love and be loved — get rid of your expressions of anger. This is one of the most important
Without anger, you can be calm, patient, nonjudgmental, and easy going… character traits that will make you irresistible to your partner.
Exclusivity is the essence of marriage or a committed relationship — it is what defines your relationship.
Without exclusivity, your unique relationship with your partner could then be replicated with a work colleague,
Exclusivity is the intimate physical and emotional experience you and your partner share with each other, and it is self-understood that it is to be shared with no one else.
If you are concealing from your partner a relationship with someone outside your marriage, this is a strong signal that you should not be having this relationship at all!
Exclusivity is a "must have" relationship building skill.
Living comfortably with another person requires mutual acceptance.
Head this free marriage advice from a professional that knows. A marriage lacking in acceptance will be a marriage of friction, rejection, and condemnation. Such a marriage or committed relationship will be bitter, and it may even become a relationship not wanted.
Don't think in terms of making your partner a "better person." Don't chair the partner improvement committee. To do so is an invitation for relationship problems. Rather, embed in your mind the mantra: "I am okay; you are okay."
Yes, there are times to share with your partner your needs or disappointments, but they must be done in a very controlled, respectful and constructive way… and most importantly, infrequently.
When your partner senses your accepting attitude, he or she will feel loved and you will never struggle with the question of how to fix a broken marriage. Your marriage — when the two of you are accepting of each other — will be happy and healthy.
Be sensitive to, and protective of, your partner’s
Let your feelings be a guide to help you measure your words and actions. Ask yourself, "If this was said about me, how would I feel?" If the answer is,"embarrassed, humiliated or shamed," then don't say it to your partner or say it to another person about your partner.
Don’t carelessly or maliciously tarnish your partner’s image in the eyes of others leaving him or her feeling low, worthless, unloved, and unprotected.
Marital and committed relationship intimacy would cease were you or your partner to believe that sharing with each other personal details would later be disclosed to others; fear of exposure would cause an emotional withdrawal from the relationship.
Privacy is paramount to a healthy marriage. It is essential if there is to be intimacy, trust, and goodwill. Guard your privacy — build a fence around your marriage and don't let anyone in.
The personal details you know about your partner, and he or she about
Not sure what should be kept private? Ask your partner.
Keep your marriage or committed relationship private. Your partner will appreciate the sanctity you create, and he or she will respect you for your sensitivity to his or her feelings. Head this valuable and free marriage advice for a healthy relationship.
Loyalty is an essential quality found in all well-functioning marriages or committed relationships. Loyalty is not based on judgment or opinion. Rather, it is based on your unconditional decision to side with your partner.
Loyalty is an extremely powerful tool to strengthen your marriage or committed relationship. It demonstrates to your partner that he or she is the number one person in your life; disloyalty proves otherwise.
Being loyal may not always be easy — but it is always the right thing to do!
Be loyal to your partner and insist upon the same in return. Loyalty strengthens your relationship and gives each of you a feeling of safety, being loved, being cared for, and being respected.
Love fuels feelings to be close and involved with your partner and he or she with you. It is the source of attraction that keeps the relationship exciting.
However, love doesn't always come automatically. Rather, there are things you do and things you don't do that increase or decrease the amount of love between you and your partner. When you perform The 8 Acts of Love as recommended, you automatically generate passion and increase the amount of love in your marriage.
Love binds you and your partner together.
As blood is to the body, love is to a marriage. When your love is healthy and in abundance, your life is happy, your family secure, and
There is much truth to the saying: "Love makes the world go round."
Bickering, fighting, disrespecting is marriage rot. The antidote to "marriage rot" is having a passionate marriage — a marriage filled with love, commitment, enthusiasm, fun, and romance. Using The 8 Acts of Love to guide your marriage or committed relationship will automatically generate the passion needed to build a loving marriage.
A successful marriage or committed relationship is a science. A successful marriage or committed relationship is not chemistry, luck, or genetics. When you know 'how,' you can build a great connection with your partner. In this book, The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage, you will learn the eight most essential rules that when followed will lead to friendship, respect, love, and passion.
Additional supportive books below:
Like a bridge that spans a great divide, words forge a bond between two people. In this audiobook, Relationship Listening — attract the people you like and bring them close to you, you will learn the most direct way to build emotional intimacy. It's simple... if you don't know how to listen, validate, and understand, there will be no connection. With this audiobook, you will learn how to use simple techniques to build lasting love, trust, and closeness.
The author, John Gottman has been in the research trenches long enough to have 'discovered' what makes relationships work. This book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, present the lessons learned by the author in from his "Love Lab" where he and colleagues observed couples in action. Marriage is a science. As such, this book is one of the foremost instruction manuals on how to build a positive relationship.
Anger is the primary cause of marital conflict and divorce. Protect the love you and your partner have — keep anger far away. This simple and easy to use program will dramatically help you eliminate or reduce anger. This program has already been successfully used by thousands of individuals.
Don't let others take advantage of you. If you do, you will be resentful and angry. Don't expect your partner to be a "mind-reader" and know what you want. Learn to "speak-up" and get your get the cooperation you need to get your legitimate needs.
Simple — people don't like to be around "sad" individuals. Get an all "natural" approach to overcoming circumstantial depression using the power of your mind! Being without depression and feeling good about yourself is a great relationship booster.
You can create happiness... You can when you know how! Happiness is a relationship magnet. Learn how to bring happiness into your life, and be attractive to your husband, wife or partner.
Be attractive to your partner using this program that is different from any you have tried before. This weight loss approach strengthens your motivation to shed those extra pounds and keep them off. Without motivation, even the best diet won't work. Why? Simple, you won't stick to it. With this revolutionary approach, YOU CAN TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE — increase your motivation and decrease your weight.
Solve your anxiety and worry problems using the most natural treatment available — "your mind." When calm, your partner will enjoy being around you!
Is stress robbing you of your health and happiness? Do others complain that you are "always" stressed and difficult to be around? Get help... get this program that will teach how to relax naturally.
There are many convoluted and wordy anger management books in the marketplace! There is "only one" that is simple, easy to use, and gets straight to the point — Anger Management Workbook with anger management worksheets — this is the anger management book that has it all!
Authoritative Parenting is the most critical part of parenting. Use whatever good parenting strategy you want. However, if you are NOT an authoritative parent you will fail in your application since you will be unable to influence your child or teen. Learn how to organize your family into a peaceful and cooperative community.
Assertive behavior means knowing how to successfully say “no” and how to get for yourself that which is reasonable. However, if you do not have “ assertive behavior” you will be stressed, frustrated, and for some, this can lead to acute anxiety and chronic depression.
Here is a collection of free marriage counseling and committed relationship self-help tools for you to use to prevent divorce and make your marriage or committed relationship healthy, loving, happy and long-lasting. Benefit from these relationship building tools; make your family a wonderful place to live. Marriage Builders are not perfect — but they are happier!
Our "relationship tools and resources" are listed in the following sequence to help you find what you need:
1 - Videos
2 - Quizzes
3 - Guides
4 - Essential Information
Learn about the health of your marriage or committed relationship and what areas you and your partner — as Marriage Builders — need to improve.
Excessive anger is the primary cause of marital and committed relationships
Marriage and Committed Relationship Map that will help you identify deficiencies in your relationship and accompanying tools to strengthen these areas of behavior.
Relationship problems are no different from medical problems. If you don't find a "solution" to improve or solve the problem you will continue to suffer and likely the situation will become worse. Learn what happens when you contribute to a relationship a solution and what happens when you don't.
Identifying anger is key to controlling it. Learn some of the many 'faces' of anger as an aid to anger management.