Divorce is nasty, and should be considered only when there are no other options. We are relationship experts and we are committed to assisting you to find solutions for serious marriage and committed relationship problems. Become a Marriage Builder.

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Hi, this is marriage therapist Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT CCHT

Having worked twenty-five years as a professional marriage therapist helping couples of all backgrounds fix their broken marriage and prevent divorce, I have come to understand that a good marriage is governed by universal principles and rules.

When you and your partner are Marriage Builders, and you consistently utilize these universal principals to govern your relationship, your marriage or committed relationship will succeed.

As you can depend on the laws of gravity to keep your feet on the ground, so too you can be sure when you follow these universal principals that you will build for yourself and your loved ones a healthy and happy home.

A good relationship is a science. When you know what to do, and you do it... your marriage or committed relationship will be healthy, happy, and long-lasting. 

The 19 Pearls of Relationship Wisdom stop divorce, fix a broken marriage

The 19 Pearls of Relationship Wisdom are based on solid research in psychology, hypnosis, and education and my clinical experience working with couples and individuals just like you.

Each "letter" in the expression A-PLUS represents a set of relationship behaviors. Having an A-PLUS relationship is your goal. An A-PLUS marriage or committed relationship is loving, healthy, happy, and long-lasting.

These five powerful sets of behaviors, when applied to your relationship prove to your partner your love, and in return will bring to you your partner's love...

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1. ABSTAIN from "fraternizing with the opposite sex." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Infidelity
  • Breaking trust
  • Creating worry and fear

2. ABSTAIN from making "independent decisions" on important matters. This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Competitive tension
  • Mistrust
  • Suspicion
  • Accusations
  • Misunderstandings

3. ABSTAIN from "excessive use of addictive substances." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Ill-health
  • Financial irresponsibility
  • Abandoning the fundamental commitments of the relationship
  • Putting the future of the relationship at risk

4. ABSTAIN from "emotional and sexual withdrawal." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Cruelty
  • Suspicion
  • Fear, anxiety and worry
  • Infidelity

5. ABSTAIN from "secrecy." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Extreme and/or unacceptable behavior that can put individuals and the marriage at risk
  • Lies and deception
  • Growing apart

6. ABSTAIN from "anger (all forms)." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Fear and "hatred" toward the one expressing anger
  • Hostility being expressed in every relationship interaction
  • Violence and injury
  • Police involvement
  • Total relationship breakdown
  • Toxic environment for all family members

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7. PEACE requires "loyalty." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Feeling betrayed
  • Feeling unimportant
  • Feeling abandoned
  • Not trusting your partner

8. PEACE requires "problem solving." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Inability to plan for the future
  • Arguments about the children
  • Attempts to communicate that end in misunderstanding and frustration
  • Feeling "stuck"

9. PEACE requires "realistic expectations." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Constant disappointment
  • Conflict and fighting
  • Relationship breakdown
  • Self-esteem breakdown
  • Expressions of anger

10. PEACE requires "raising healthy children." This is the solution to avoiding the following problems:

  • Raising emotionally injured children
  • Parents fighting about the children
  • Toxic home atmosphere
  • Breakdown in family peace and harmony
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11. LOVE requires spending "enjoyable time together." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Feeling unimportant
  • Living together, but lonely
  • Always feeling "tense" when around your partner
  • Always "bickering" when together
  • No "time" for each other

12. LOVE requires "emotional intimacy." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Feeling alone
  • Not knowing the person you live with
  • Not knowing the reason you are together
  • Relationship is in danger of breaking apart

13. LOVE requires "sexual intimacy." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Feeling unloved
  • Feeling despised
  • Worrying about an outside person having a romantic relationship with your partner
  • Feeling unneeded
  • Feeling unfulfilled

14. LOVE requires a comfortable "relationship with extended family." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Conflict between partners
  • Anger and retaliation
  • Interference in "the couple relationship" by outside family members
  • Deep and long-lasting resentment
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15. UNDERSTANDING requires "good communication." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Feeling unknown
  • Feeling unappreciated
  • Misunderstanding each other
  • Feeling distant and disconnected

16. UNDERSTANDING requires "knowing who your partner is and what his or her needs are." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Not knowing "what are" reasonable expectations
  • Not knowing how to please your partner
  • Avoiding disappointment
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17. SENSITIVITY to "roles/specialties." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Feeling out-of-sync with your partner
  • Feeling unfulfilled
  • Resentment
  • Feeling "unfairness" permeates the relationship
  • Feeling unappreciated

18. SENSITIVITY requires "emotional self-management." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Fear and hatred
  • Expressions of hostile interaction
  • Toxic environment for all family members

19. SENSITIVITY requires "willing to take responsibility for past relationship mistakes and make amends." This is the solution to the following problems:

  • Partner's anger
  • Guilt
  • Reduces future relationship mistakes
  • Being polarized and distant from one's partner
  • A sexless marriage or committed relationship
  • Relationship breakdown, separation, and divorce

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Want more help to be a Marriage Builder and have a great marriage or committed relationship? Click the tab RESOURCES or POWER TOOLS at the top of this page.

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Our FREE Library of Relationship Quizzes

Are you in a healthy relationship? Do you need anger management lessons? Is your partner emotionally abusive? Do you have more questions? 
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FREE Healthy Relationship Quiz

Learn about the health of your marriage or committed relationship and what areas you and your partner — as Marriage Builders — need to improve.

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FREE Anger Management Test

Excessive anger is the primary cause of marital and committed relationships breakdown. Like high blood pressure, it is often difficult for individuals to know what is "too much" anger. Find out your anger level  — take this anger management test. Get bonus anger management tips.

Marriage Builders Tool Box

Relationship problems are no different from medical problems. If you don't find a "solution" to improve or solve the problem you will continue to suffer and likely the situation will become worse. Learn what happens when you contribute to a relationship a solution and what happens when you don't.

FREE Marriage Builders "LOVE TOOLS"

Here are free "Love Tools" for Marriage Builders and everyone else in a committed relationship. These interactive 'exercises' and 'thinking stimulators' will engage you and your partner in a way that "just reading" cannot. Try this unique approach to building your marriage or committed relationship.

Prevent Divorce Blog

You will find in this informative blog FREE marriage counseling tips on how to keep your marriage or committed relationship healthy, happy, and loving. This is the best way to prevent divorce.
stop divorce, anger management, anger control

Learn the Many Ways Anger Displays Itself

Identifying anger is key to controlling it. Learn some of the many 'faces' of anger as an aid to anger management.

fix a broken marriage, marriage advice, marriage help

Marriage science: The 8 Marriage and Committed Relationship Rules

Marriage is science! When you know the formula, or as I call them, the "marriage rules," you will then know how to build a passionate marriage. If these marriage rules are missing and you choose to stay together for convenience, your marriage will be one of bickering, loneliness and without romance. Here are the marriage rules I call "The 8 Acts of Love."

fix a broken marriage, marriage builders, marriage help

FREE Reference Guides

Your one page reference guide highlights the three primary tasks necessary to achieve your specific goal. Download this PDF directly to your electronic device. If you like you can print it and keep it with you at all times to review as needed.

fix a broken marriage, marriage help, marriage advice, free online marraige counseling

Professional advice from marriage expert, marriage and family therapist Abe Kass MA RSW RMFT CCHT

Abe Kass MA RSW RMFT CCHT has helped hundreds of couples throughout the United States and Canada find positive reasons to stay together and prevent divorce. Give your most valued possession  — your marriage or committed relationship  — its best chance to succeed! Contact Abe NOW.

The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage

A successful marriage or committed relationship is a science. A successful marriage or committed relationship is not chemistry, luck, or genetics. When you know 'how,' you can build a great connection with your partner. In this book, The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage, you will learn the eight most essential rules that when followed will lead to friendship, respect, love, and passion.

How to Make a Man Happy

Contributing to 'your man's' happiness gives you pleasure. However, doing so is not always easy. In this book, How to Make a Man Happy, you will learn the emotional ingredients your male partner needs to feel content and recognize you as a valued part of his life.

Relationship Listening Audiobook

Like a bridge that spans a great divide, words forge a bond between two people. In this audiobook,  Relationship Listening — attract the people you like and bring them close to you, you will learn the most direct way to build emotional intimacy. It's simple... if you don't know how to listen, validate, and understand, there will be no connection. With this audiobook, you will learn how to use simple techniques to build lasting love, trust, and closeness.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

This book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is a relationship classic. The author explains in easy to understand words the unique needs of men and women seeking to have a positive connection with one another. Men and women are different... and without using these differences is a skilled way, the couple will feel misunderstood and unfulfilled. Learn how to use these gender differences to generate positive feelings and build a loving and lasting relationship.

Divorce Busting - a step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again

Do you want to tackle divorce prevention 'head-on?' Then this is the book for you. Divorce Busting — a step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again, makes very deep and effective marriage therapy easy to use and accessible to everyone. Base on Solution Focused Brief Therapy, this book will guide you out of your relationship problems by highlighting 'what is good in your marriage' and doing more of it. Simple... and highly effective. This book is for everyone in a committed relationship.

The 5 Love Languages

Two people make a couple. However, each individual is unique and different from his or her partner. This well-read book, The 5 Love Languages, defines and shows how to use these natural differences to make a marriage or committed relationship loving. When you understand your partner's essential nature, and he or she yours, together you can build a harmonious and happy marriage or committed relationship. 

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The author, John Gottman has been in the research trenches long enough to have 'discovered' what makes relationships work. This book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, present the lessons learned by the author in from his "Love Lab" where he and colleagues observed couples in action. Marriage is a science. As such, this book is one of the foremost instruction manuals on how to build a positive relationship.

Nonviolent Communication

We humans are social creatures. To think otherwise is foolish! As social beings, we live together in close quarters. The greatest example our social nature is our instinct to couple with a life partner. Our life experience is primarily determined by the quality of our relationships. This book, Nonviolent Communication, provides detailed instruction on how to form healthy and positive relationships using proven communication techniques. This book is so important, its lessons should be taught in every high school along with sex education. If you didn't learn healthy communication then, it is not too late to learn it now ;).

Difficult Conversations

Somethings in life are not easy to do. However, when you know how, they can be made "easier." Learning from this book, Difficult Conversations, you will be given relationship tools to tackle your most difficult and important communication tasks. Just about every communication challenge is covered. The benefits of being able to communicate effectively will be felt in all your relationships. Your most valued relationship — your marriage or committed relationship — will be significantly enhanced when you and your partner can connect in a deep and meaningful way.
strong self esteem, best self help books

Strong Self-esteem Audiobook

Healthy relationships require two healthy individuals. Low self-esteem will negatively on your marriage or committed relationship. For example, low self-esteem will interfere with being assertive. Use this simple program to build your self-esteem muscles.
positive thinking, best self-help books

Optimism and Positive Thinking Audiobook

"Negative individuals" are avoided. Positive individuals attract others. Just as you need to attend to your physical impression, so too your emotional impression! Be the kind of person your partner wants to spend time with. Positive thinking and optimism are attractive character traits.
anger management, anger control, extreme anger

Anger Management Audiobook

Anger is the primary cause of marital conflict and divorce. Protect the love you and your partner have — keep anger far away. This simple and easy to use program will dramatically help you eliminate or reduce anger. This program has already been successfully used by thousands of individuals.

assertive training, assertiveness, self help books

Assertiveness Training Audio Book

Don't let others take advantage of you. If you do, you will be resentful and angry. Don't expect your partner to be a "mind-reader" and know what you want. Learn to "speak-up" and get your get the cooperation you need to get your legitimate needs.

depression, stop sadness, self help books

Defeat Circumstantial Depression

Simple  — people don't like to be around "sad" individuals. Get an all "natural" approach to overcoming circumstantial depression using the power of your mind! Being without depression and feeling good about yourself is a great relationship booster. 

be happy, happiness, self help books

Enter Happiness Audiobook

You can create happiness... You can when you know how! Happiness is a relationship magnet. Learn how to bring happiness into your life, and be attractive to your husband, wife or partner. 

lose weight, self help book

Lose Weight Audiobook

Be attractive to your partner using this program that is different from any you have tried before. This weight loss approach strengthens your motivation to shed those extra pounds and keep them off. Without motivation, even the best diet won't work. Why? Simple, you won't stick to it. With this revolutionary approach, YOU CAN TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE — increase your motivation and decrease your weight.

anxiety, panic, self help books

Anxiety and Panic Relief Audiobook

Solve your anxiety and worry problems using the most natural treatment available — "your mind." When calm, your partner will enjoy being around you! 

relaxation, relax, stress, self help books

Relax and Live Stress Free Audio Book

Is stress robbing you of your health and happiness? Do others complain that you are "always" stressed and difficult to be around? Get help... get this program that will teach how to relax naturally.

anger management, fix a broken marriage, control anger

Anger Management Workbook

There are many convoluted and wordy anger management books in the marketplace! There is "only one" that is simple, easy to use, and gets straight to the point — Anger Management Workbook with anger management worksheets — this is the anger management book that has it all!

authoritative parenting, good parent, bad parent, fix a broken marriage

Contribute to a peaceful family with authoritative parenting

Authoritative Parenting is the most critical part of parenting. Use whatever good parenting strategy you want. However, if you are NOT an authoritative parent you will fail in your application since you will be unable to influence your child or teen. Learn how to organize your family into a peaceful and cooperative community.