Marriage Intelligence "recommended" relationship tools for marriage builders
Learn how I select the best self-help books for women and men who want to improve their marriage, committed relationship or family.
Codependent No More
How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
By Melody Beattie
Codependent No More is a best self-help book with a powerful message.
Many of us are bound by invisible chains to the significant people in our lives. In other words, we feel responsible for their happiness — and this is called codependency.
Being responsible for another person’s happiness is a “mission impossible.”
Being responsible for another person’s “happiness” is an impossible mission because we don't cause others to be always miserable nor can we force them to be happy when it is our will to do so.
What we can be is compassionate and “contribute” to another person’s well-being. However, to take on the burden to “make another person happy” cannot be achieved and if you try, you will be left feeling depleted, fearful, and incomplete.
If you are an individual that feels responsible for another person’s happiness, likely this burdened was formed early in your life.
Perhaps you had an unhappy parent or a tragic event that occurred in your family. You took the role of trying to make everything better for everyone. Credit goes to your noble efforts. However, such an approach is dysfunctional for the simple reason is that it “does not work.” You cannot make another person happy.
Codependent No More is a marvelous book that describes in detail the misery of codependent individuals who suffer at their own hands. The good news is Codependent No More provides you with a solution to this chronic emotional discomfort.
Codependent No More will show you how to cut the chains that bind you to a sinking ship that can never be uprighted regardless of your Herculean efforts. Codependent No More will teach you how to free yourself and how to become a more complete and independent human being. And as such, not only will you be better for yourself, you will also be better for others.
The emotionally healthier you are as an individual the more fit you are as a partner to another person. When you can be independent, you can also allow others to be independent, and this bodes well for relationship success.
For many Marriage Builders, Codependent No More will bring you and your partner to an essential paradigm shift — a game changer — that will free the relationship to grow, be healthy, and long-lasting.
Many couples get into very toxic and dysfunctional dances because both individuals exhibit codependent tendencies. Over nothing, arguments can erupt and build until they become out of control!
Some people compare the emotional disease of codependency to addiction.
Caring for others can feel so compelling and necessary that it is hard to imagine life without this burden. It is like an addiction because living otherwise, free of this burden of caring for others, is difficult even to imagine, and more so to change.
Marriage builders know personal happiness is a relationship health tonic. Codependent No More, How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself By Melody Beattie is for many individuals the formula to this much needed relationship medicine.
If you feel responsible for your partner’s happiness, then get this book and get it now. It is about time that you get out of emotional jail! Claim your birthright to be happy!