Get free anger management tips to stay cool even when someone lights your fire!
Ruining your life is easier than you think unless you understand what anger is and how much it destroys... Keep reading.
Do you get angry? Of course you do... But what happens next is what is most important? Only you know if you "pass the anger test or not!"
Let's learn about anger
Anger is harmful to three categories of individuals. Anger injures the person expressing it, the person it is directed at, and anyone present while it is expressed. Yes, there are rare exceptions when anger may be useful. However, you will likely never encounter such a situation during your lifetime. Thus, from day to day you will be given many anger tests. You score high on you anger test when you stay calm; you fail your anger test when becoming angry.
For some couples, anger becomes the tool to control one's partner. Anger expressions are the dominant characteristic in emotionally abusive relationships. Anger is used to shame, bully, and frighten a partner into submission. The abusive person wants his or her way and his or her partner must simply comply.
Learn more about emotional abuse
Fortunately, emotionally abusive relationships are rare and hopefully this does not apply to you. If you are not sure and you wonder if your marriage or committed relationship includes emotional abuse take my free test. Click or tap below to learn more about relationship abuse.
Take the free and confidential emotionally abusive relationships test
Regarding anger, I have often shared with others the following analogy: You have a beautiful meal set before you and your guests are seated and waiting expectingly to feast. Suddenly a fly appears circling the delicacies. You take a sledgehammer and go after the pesky fly. Within moments all is destroyed! The food is scattered, the table broken and your guests horrified. And the fly? The fly remains to live another day.
Trying to solve a problem with anger is like trying to kill a fly with a sledgehammer — simply it does not achieve the desired results. In fact becoming angry makes the situation much worse. If someone does something that bothers you, better to either adjust to whatever it is that you don't like and accept it or find a calm and peaceful way to discuss what you don't like and negotiate a change.
Free anger management tips: Take the anger management test and rate your level of anger, Free anger management test
Your anger will betray you. It will not carry your message or achieve your purpose. What is noticed by those that hear your tirade is the raw anger — not your message!
We are all frequently tested to see if we are going to stay calm or get angry. Anger tests present themselves throughout the day!
Anger test: Family, work associates, and strangers exposed to your anger will react with fear or they contribute their own anger — but they will never understand what you are trying to convey. Those hearing your anger will run from you or counterattack with anger — but they will never agree or understand you! Anger fails completely as a means of communicating a sensitive or complex thought. With family, work associates, and strangers do you stay calm or become angry? Do you pass the "anger test" or do you fail?
Anger test: As well, anger is deadly to your health. Recently, I read an article on CNN that talks about the connection between stress and cardiovascular disease. We all know firsthand, and we don't need any scientific studies to inform us that anger is acute stress. Simply anger is harmful, and if you want to reduce the likelihood of a heart attack or stroke, then you need to learn how to solve your problems calmly, respectfully, and peacefully. Even our body knows that anger has no place in our lives. To preserve your health do you stay calm or become angry?
See the CNN article, This might be how stress and heart attacks are linked
Anger test: As well, anger has sparked violent outbursts that have killed many people and led many others into years of incarceration. Do you play with the lives of others and your own life when you are disappointed and become angry? When angry do you go to extremes and risk everything? Or can you calm yourself down? Do you pass the anger test?
Anger test: As well, many families have been destroyed because of anger! Anger has ruined the lives of countless innocent partners, children, and grandparents. Precious moments of healthy family living are lost forever. Are you triggered by others? And if you are, do you stay calm or become angry? Do you risk the involvement of the police in a domestic dispute? Do you pass the anger test and stay calm or do you fail?
The Bible compare anger to "idol worship." This is because when a person is angry, they become entirely self-absorbed to the point where nothing else exists. The feelings of others, mutual respect, fairness, civility all fall by the wayside. At that moment of anger, there is only you and your anger. And certainly, in moments like these, there is no room for God or whatever word you choose to describe that which is beyond what you understand about the nature of this world.
Anger test: Anger is idol worship because anger makes you forget about everything except yourself. Spirituality, religiosity, and humanistic values are all trashed when anger overcomes you. Do you stay calm and maintain your spiritual dignity or do lower yourself and become angry?
There are better ways to achieve your purpose than using an ineffective, harmful, and dangerous emotional tool called "anger." Learn more tips on how to control anger. Click or tap the link below.
Anger management tips to eliminate or reduce anger
Examine your expectations of others, your ability to relax and l let go of what bothers you, and your skillfulness at self-control — these are powerful tools to help you stay calm and avoid or reduce expressions of anger.
Until you take full responsibility for your expressions of anger, you cannot begin to reduce it. Why? Because you will blame others for your descent into anger. In other words, you are making a statement to yourself and others that you cannot control yourself and if this is the case, you will never live anger-free.
If you think you don't become angry, know this: Most people use a very narrow description of anger. They see anger as aggressive, assaultive, and combative. However, anger is much more and has many faces. Not talking to someone, being revengeful, unkind, being disrespectful, being moody, being uncooperative and the like are all variations on anger expressions. Now ask yourself the question again, "Do I become angry?" If you need help determining how much anger you manifest, go to the link above for my free anger management test.
Get simple lessons on how to manage anger
Years ago, I made a little audio MP3 and CD program on Anger Control. It has been used by many thousands of individuals seeking to learn anger management. This anger management program is simple and easy and only takes eight minutes a day of your time. I sell it on Amazon. If you are interested, go to Anger Control Audio Book, to learn more.
Anger management tips summary
We all get angry once and a while. You may decide always to stay calm as you decide always to stay healthy — but as you know from experience, we don't always get what we seek. Do your best to stay calm. Should you slip and become angry, you are still a wonderful person while at the same time accept ownership of your mistake. Apologize for your anger or if you prefer, acknowledge to the recipient of your anger in another way that what you did was wrong and you regret having done so. No one should suffer because of your anger outbursts — and this includes you!
PS: If you think you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, click or tap to learn more: Abusive relationships
Learn more about additional anger management tips and premium best self-help books for women and men. Anger management tips, Anger management workbook.