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Prevent Divorce

Emotional abuse: Three steps to recovery

by Abe Kass on February 9, 2015

emotional abuse, abused women, abusive relationshipSadly, spousal abuse exists in many families. Sometimes the abusive person wishes he or she could control his or her anger outbursts and sometimes they don't. When they do, it is relatively easy stop extreme anger. Then you need to go on to heal from all the hurt feelings and insults!

Emotional abuse: Are you an abused women

In their family home, Janet never experienced nor saw the kind of emotional abuse she was now experiencing married to Eric. His constant criticizing, extreme anger blowups and insults had destroyed her self-esteem and were a painful example of spousal abuse.

Finally, she had enough. She told Eric that if they didn't go for help she was going to leave. She told him she was no longer willing to go on with his anger outbursts. Reluctantly Eric agreed to go for marriage therapy.

Domestic violence against women

Fortunately, the therapist was good. She explained to Eric how wrong domestic violence against women was and how his extreme anger outburst were eroding his wife's natural healthy self-esteem. (Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship?  Take a free emotional abuse test and find out!

After Eric got over his embarrassment of having his pattern of anger outbursts exposed to another person, he rose to the challenge and committed himself to treating his wife respectfully.

The therapist gave Eric anger management worksheets to help him learn anger management.

Janet reported several weeks later to their marriage therapist that Eric had completely transformed himself and was now behaving respectfully, kindly and was more patient.

Get free anger management tips

Get anger management worksheets

However, she told the therapist she was still fearful of her husband and had a hard time speaking up and letting Eric know what her needs were and how she felt about things.

The marriage therapist was insightful and understood that after years of emotional abuse, Janet's self-esteem had suffered and was now very low.

After explaining this to Janet, she gave her the following three suggestions:

1. Make a list of your positive attributes and your achievements then review them several times each day.

2. Each day write a paragraph of what you would like to hear from your husband. At a quiet moment in the evening hand him the paper and ask him to read the paragraph out loud to you. He should repeat this three times.

3. Each day give yourself a treat. Maybe it is taking some quiet time and reading a book, or calling a friend, or buying something special to eat. Tell yourself the reason you are treating yourself is because you are good, and you are on the road to achieving many great things.

The marriage therapist explained that it was not necessary that your conscious mind understood or fully excepts these suggestions. Self-esteem is built by the emotional mind, and these exercises are directed to building positive impressions in your emotions that are the source of your self-esteem.

Jane worked on building her self-esteem. She went from being a broken and emotionally abused woman to finding her inner strength. She became much more outgoing, connected with old friends and felt empowered to set goals and to achieve. Best of all, she was no longer afraid to speak with Eric.

Abusive relationship

If you have experienced emotional abuse in your relationship, the first step is to put an end to it. The next step is to repair the damage. Take a free emotional abuse test.

If your partner, who has abused you, can participate in your healing, this is a very helpful because it gives him or her an opportunity to do penitence and help undo the damage that he or she has caused.

If your partner helps you heal, it makes it much easier for you to forgive him or her for the abusive relationship and then for the two of you to move forward and live a great life together as a happily married couple.


Topics: Emotional abuse