Free marriage counseling: Committed Relationship Builder Map
Use a scientific approach to building a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.
This Relationship Map is based on solid research in psychology, hypnosis, and education as well as many years of direct clinical experience working with couples and individuals.
Each letter in the acronym A-PLUS represents one of the 5-Categories of Positive Relationship Behaviors. Having an A-PLUS relationship is your goal. When you achieved an A-PLUS relationship you will have a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.
These 5-Categories of Positive Relationship Behaviors, which are based on the 19-Relationship Principals, when applied correctly to your relationship, 'prove' to your partner your love for him or her, and in return will then bring to you your partner's love.
The A-PLUS acronym has been constructed to help remember how to make your marriage or committed relationship great.
Marriages and committed relationships are governed by 19-Relationship Principals and are included in 5 sets of positive relationship behavior.
Unsure if you should become a Committed Relationship and Marriage Builder, get divorced, or stay in a bad marriage or committed relationship? Click or Tap and learn more about your relationship options.
The Relationship Map to a Healthy, Happy, and Long-lasting Marriage and Committed Partnership
Instructions
1. Scroll down through each one of the five sets of relationship behaviors that cover the 19 relationship principals to a healthy, happy, long-lasting relationship. Identify where you and/or your partner are deficient and what you need to do about it.
2. Click on the link when available and a corresponding exercise will open-up in a new tab on your browser. This exercise will help you and your partner strengthen this particular part of your marriage or committed relationship that needs improvement. Note: Some exercises are used for more than one category.
3. Once you have the exercise on your device, it may be easier for you to use if you then print it on paper so you can then write your answers. To put the exercise in print format Click the Print Friendly Button.
[This page and the corresponding exercises may be shared and used by others including professionals with their clients. If they are posted on a website they must have a "do follow" link back to this site and its corresponding page. This material is copyrighted and cannot be used for commercial purposes without written consent from the author, Abe Kass]
Let's start now...
The 5 sets of relationship behaviors and the 19 relationship principals
1. ABSTAIN from "fraternizing with the opposite sex." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Infidelity
- Breaking trust
- Creating worry and fear
Click to go to this exercise:
2. ABSTAIN from making "independent decisions" on important matters. This is the solution to the following problems:
- Competitive tension
- Mistrust
- Suspicion
- Accusations
- Misunderstandings
Click to go to this exercise:
3. ABSTAIN from "excessive use of addictive substances." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Ill-health
- Financial irresponsibility
- Abandoning the fundamental commitments of the relationship
- Putting the future of the relationship at risk
Click to go to this exercise:
4. ABSTAIN from "emotional and sexual withdrawal." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Cruelty
- Suspicion
- Fear, anxiety and worry
- Infidelity
Click to go to this exercise:
5. ABSTAIN from "secrecy." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Extreme and/or unacceptable behavior that can put individuals and the marriage at risk
- Lies and deception
- Growing apart
Click to go to this exercise:
6. ABSTAIN from "anger (all forms)." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Fear and "hatred" toward the one expressing anger
- Hostility being expressed in every relationship interaction
- Violence and injury
- Police involvement
- Total relationship breakdown
- Toxic environment for all family members
Click to go to this exercise:
Take the Emotional Abuse Test — Are you living with an emotionally abusive relationship?
7. PEACE requires "loyalty." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Feeling betrayed
- Feeling unimportant
- Feeling abandoned
- Not trusting your partner
Click to go to this exercise:
8. PEACE requires "problem solving." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Inability to plan for the future
- Arguments about the children
- Attempts to communicate that end in misunderstanding and frustration
- Feeling "stuck"
Click to go to this exercise:
(Coming soon)
9. PEACE requires "realistic expectations." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Constant disappointment
- Conflict and fighting
- Relationship breakdown
- Self-esteem breakdown
- Expressions of anger
Click to go to this exercise:
10. PEACE requires "raising healthy children." This is the solution to avoiding the following problems:
- Raising emotionally injured children
- Parents fighting about the children
- Toxic home atmosphere
- Breakdown in family peace and harmony
Click to go to this exercise:
11. LOVE requires spending "enjoyable time together." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Feeling unimportant
- Living together, but lonely
- Always feeling "tense" when around your partner
- Always "bickering" when together
- No "time" for each other
Click to go to this exercise:
12. LOVE requires "emotional intimacy." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Feeling alone
- Not knowing the person you live with
- Not knowing the reason you are together
- Relationship is in danger of breaking apart
Click to go to this exercise:
13. LOVE requires "sexual intimacy." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Feeling unloved
- Feeling despised
- Worrying about an outside person having a romantic relationship with your partner
- Feeling unneeded
- Feeling unfulfilled
Click to go to this exercise:
14. LOVE requires a comfortable "relationship with extended family." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Conflict between partners
- Anger and retaliation
- Interference in "the couple relationship" by outside family members
- Deep and long-lasting resentment
Click to go to this exercise:
15. UNDERSTANDING requires "good communication." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Feeling unknown
- Feeling unappreciated
- Misunderstanding each other
- Feeling distant and disconnected
Click to go to this exercise:
16. UNDERSTANDING requires "knowing who your partner is and what his or her needs are." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Not knowing "what are" reasonable expectations
- Not knowing how to please your partner
- Avoiding disappointment
Click to go to this exercise:
17. SENSITIVITY to "roles/specialties." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Feeling out-of-sync with your partner
- Feeling unfulfilled
- Resentment
- Feeling "unfairness" permeates the relationship
- Feeling unappreciated
Click to go to this exercise:
18. SENSITIVITY requires "emotional self-management." This is the solution to the following problems:
- Fear and hatred
- Expressions of hostile interaction
- Toxic environment for all family members
Click to go to this exercise:
19. SENSITIVITY requires "a willingness to take responsibility for past relationship mistakes, apologize, and make amends. This is the solution to the following problems:
- Partner's anger
- Guilt
- Reduces future relationship mistakes
- Being polarized and distant from one's partner
- A sexless marriage or committed relationship
- Relationship breakdown, separation, and divorce
Click to go to this exercise:
(Coming soon)
That's it! Go have a healthy, loving, and long-lasting marriage or committed relationship...
