This Relationship GPS Map is based on solid research in psychology, hypnosis, and education as well as the author's many years of direct clinical experience working with couples.
This is how it works...
Each letter in the acronym A-PLUS represents one of the 5-Categories of Positive Relationship Behaviors. Having an A-PLUS relationship is your goal.
When you achieved an A-PLUS relationship... congratulations... you have a healthy, happy, and long-lasting marriage or committed relationship.
These 5-Categories of Positive Relationship Behaviors, which are based on the 19-Relationship Principles, when applied correctly to your relationship, 'prove' to your partner your love for him or her, and in return will then bring you your partner's love.
The A-PLUS acronym has been constructed to help remember how to make your marriage or committed relationship GREAT.
1. Scroll down through each one of the five sets of relationship behaviors that cover the 19 relationship principles to a healthy, happy, long-lasting relationship. Identify where you and/or your partner are deficient and learn what you need to do to improve.
2. Click on the link when available and a corresponding exercise will open-up in a new tab on your browser. This exercise will help you and your partner strengthen this particular part of your marriage or committed relationship that needs improvement. Note: Some exercises are used for more than one category.
3. Once you have the exercise on your device, it may be easier for you to use if you then print it on paper so you can then write your answers. To put the exercise in print format Click the Print Friendly Button.
[This page and the corresponding exercises may be shared and used by others including professionals. If they are posted on a website they must have a 'do follow' link back to this site and its corresponding page. This material is copyrighted and cannot be used for commercial purposes without written consent from the author, Abe Kass]
Let's start now...
Here are the 5 sets of relationship behaviors and the 19 Relationship Principles:
1. ABSTAIN from 'fraternizing with the opposite sex.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Infidelity
Loss of trust — you are forever suspicious of your partner
Creating worry and fear as to what your partner is doing when away from home (is he or she involved in a romantic relationship outside your primary relationship?)
Click to go to this exercise:
Surviving infidelity (which has already occurred) guidelines
Affair prevention relationship rules (if one had an affair in the past)
2. ABSTAIN from making 'independent decisions (not consulting one's partner)' on important matters. This is a solution to the following problems:
Competitive tension between you and your partner
Mistrust as to what your partner has done
Suspicion you partner is not looking after your interest and is not considering your feelings
Accusations that important matters are being hidden from you
Misunderstandings as to why a particular and important decision was made
Click to go to this exercise:
The importance of making important decisions together
How to make decisions together
3. ABSTAIN from 'excessive use of addictive substances.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Ill-health that impacts not only you, but everyone else in your family in many ways
Financial irresponsibility (drugs and alcohol are expensive)
Abandoning the fundamental commitments of the relationship (as a substance abuser you are behaving irresponsible)
Putting the future of the relationship at risk
Click to go to this exercise:
Is there substance abuse in your marriage or committed relationship?
4. ABSTAIN from 'emotional and sexual withdrawal.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Cruelty
Suspicion of cheating
Fear, anxiety, and worry as to why there is no sex
Infidelity
Click to go to this exercise:
Fix a sexless marriage or committed relationship
5. ABSTAIN from 'secrecy.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Extreme and/or unacceptable behavior that can put individuals and the relationship at risk
Lies and deception that tear the relationship apart
Growing apart, excluding your partner from participating in your life
Click to go to this exercise:
6. ABSTAIN from 'anger (all forms).' This is a solution to the following problems:
Fear and 'hatred' toward the one expressing anger
Hostility being expressed in every relationship interaction
Violence and injury
Police involvement
Total relationship breakdown
Click to go to this exercise:
Take a FREE Anger Management Quiz—Do you need to learn how to deal with anger?
Learn how to identify anger and embed this awareness in your mind— A simple anger management exercise
Take the Emotional Abuse Test—Are you living with an emotionally abusive relationship?
Learn to forgive— How to deal with expressions of anger from the past
7. PEACE requires 'loyalty.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Feeling betrayed
Feeling unimportant
Feeling abandoned
Not trusting your partner
Click to go to this exercise:
8. PEACE requires 'problem solving.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Inability to plan for the future
Arguments about the children
Attempts to communicate that end in misunderstanding, frustration and anger
Feeling 'stuck'
Click to go to this exercise:
9. PEACE requires 'realistic expectations.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Constant disappointment
Conflict and fighting
Relationship breakdown
Self-esteem breakdown
Expressions of anger to force issues to go in your favor
Click to go to this exercise:
Catch your partner doing something right
10. PEACE requires 'raising healthy children.' This is a solution to the following problems:
To ensure children grow up emotionally healthy
Parents fighting about the children
Toxic home atmosphere
Breakdown in family peace and harmony
Click to go to this exercise:
Getting started as a stepparent
11. LOVE requires spending 'enjoyable time together.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Feeling unimportant
Living together, but feeling lonely
Always feeling 'tense' when around your partner
Always 'bickering' when together
No 'time' for each other
Click to go to this exercise:
12. LOVE requires 'emotional intimacy.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Feeling alone
Not knowing the person you live with
Not knowing the reason you are together
Relationship is in danger of breaking apart
Click to go to this exercise:
13. LOVE requires 'sexual intimacy.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Feeling unloved
Feeling despised
Worrying about an outside person having a romantic relationship with your partner
Feeling unneeded
Feeling unfulfilled
Click to go to this exercise:
How to have a sexually healthy and satisfying marriage or committed relationship
Fixing a sexless marriage or committed relationship
14. LOVE requires a comfortable 'relationship with extended family. This is a solution to the following problems:
Conflict between partners
Anger and retaliation
Interference in 'the couple relationship' by outside family members
Deep and long-lasting resentment
Click to go to this exercise:
Give your partner love through being 'good' to his or her extended family
15. UNDERSTANDING requires 'good communication.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Feeling unknown
Feeling unappreciated
Misunderstanding each other
Feeling distant and disconnected
Click to go to this exercise:
Practice listening — 'Just listen'
16. UNDERSTANDING requires 'knowing who your partner is and their needs.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Not knowing 'what are' reasonable expectations
Not knowing how to please your partner
Avoiding disappointment
Click to go to this exercise:
Know your husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend
17. SENSITIVITY to 'roles/specialties.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Feeling out-of-sync with your partner
Resentment feeling you are doing "too much" for your relationship
Feeling relationship responsibility is unfairly distributed
Feeling unappreciated
Click to go to this exercise:
Marriage and committed relationship responsibilities
18. SENSITIVITY requires 'emotional self-management.' This is a solution to the following problems:
Fear and hatred that negatively impacts on your partner
Irrational guilt that negatively impacts on your partner
Expressions of hostile emotions
Creating a toxic environment in the family
Click to go to this exercise:
Evaluate emotional fitness for a marriage or committed relationship
19. SENSITIVITY requires a willingness to take responsibility for one's past relationship mistakes, apologizing and making amends. This is a solution to the following problems:
Damage caused by anger expressions directed at your partner or children
Ignoring one's partner
Contributing to a sexless marriage or committed relationship
Taking responsibility for past mistakes reduces the likelihood that future mistakes will occur
Click to go to this exercise:
Repairing Relationship Mistakes
Let this GPS relationship map guide you to avoid relationship problems and fix one's that have already happened.
That's it! Go have a healthy, loving, and long-lasting marriage or committed relationship...
