An essential part of recovering from infidelity is establishing an agreed upon set of rules which will govern interactions and relationships with the opposite sex. After the affair is over, this preventative measure is necessary to make sure cheating doesn't happen again. They also reassure the betrayed partner because he or she will know that inappropriate relationships won't happen when their partner is not home. Proper guidelines of behavior after the affair has ended are essential to reestablishing trust and feelings of security.
Discuss with your partner how the two of you will now behave in the following situations. Write down what you have agreed upon. These guidelines are to govern your behavior with the opposite sex. I suggest after the affair is over and as part of your recovering from infidelity, you review the guidelines you have decided on several times a month for at least one year. As you develop these affair prevention guidelines, you need to be honest about your needs, transparent about what you want, and careful not to agree to anything you can't or won't actually do.
Answer the following questions to determine your list of relationship rules that will govern how you interact with individuals of the opposite sex when your partner is not present:
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1. Write your relationship rule for contact with a former boyfriend or girlfriend?
2. Write your relationship rule for having a meal in a restaurant or similar meeting place alone with someone of the opposite sex. Consider both 'social' and ' business' get-togethers.
3. Write your relationship rule for informing your partner when you are going to have or have had a social or business meeting with someone of the opposite sex.
4. Write your relationship rule for helping a business associate of the opposite sex with a personal problem.
5. Write your relationship rule for what constitutes contact (in person, phone, email, text, etc).
6. Write your relationship rule for how to proceed should someone of the opposite sex initiate contact for a social purpose.
7. Write your relationship rule for the person who betrayed, how he or she should proceed should the former outside person (the person involved in the affair) initiate contact.
8. Write your relationship rule for how to proceed when having contact with someone of the opposite sex that has not been discussed or covered in these affair prevention guidelines.
Together with your partner, you can revisit these affair prevention guidelines at any time and modify them as desired.