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Online Anger Management Classes

Take three FREE Anger Management Classes.

These classes are the same ones I teach my clients who pay me 'big-bucks' for professional anger management training.

Hi, this is family therapist Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT CCHT.

You have worked hard to create a life for yourself.

Yes, it is not perfect, but it is certainly important, has value to you, and it has not come without sacrifice and great effort.

The thought of losing it all is frightening!

So beware — the most likely threat to everything you have accomplished is your anger issues.

As a busy family therapist, I have worked with thousands of individuals and families. I have discovered that anger is the single greatest cause of relationship strife, abusive relationships, and personal anguish.

Unlike many who write internet articles about anger issues, I actually work with people and teach anger management. I know what I am talking about!

Everyone, including you and I, have good reasons for getting angry.

There are always people or situations that make it difficult for even the most patient and reasonable person to remain calm.

Regardless, it is my hope that you agree with my conclusion that "getting angry simply isn’t worth it."

___________

Class # 1: 5 Proven Anger Management Tips That Work

1. Resist negatively judging your partner

Seek positive ways to interpret your partner's behavior, so you will be less upset or not upset at all with what he or she has done.

2. Don't keep a score

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeWhen you are upset with something your partner has done, "forgive and forget."

Don't hold on to your negative judgment about your partner and angry feelings and use them as fuel to feed additional negative thoughts.

This will only lead to additional anger and escalated conflict — you and your entire family will then suffer the consequences.

3. Be humble

Don't get angry when things don't go your way.

Anger is an aggressive emotion to try and "force" things to be the way you want them to be.

Whatever the situation is, try to accept as much as you can. 'Acceptance' will eliminate anger and this will lead to peace and harmony with your partner.

4. Share and Negotiate

If there is something your partner does that you cannot just accept as recommended above, calmly and respectfully share your thoughts and when appropriate, negotiate a solution agreeable to both of you rather than using anger to impose what you want.

In the majority of situations, if you can't negotiate a solution, it is better to 'give in' than 'get angry.'

5. Stay calm

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeIf you become angry, stop talking.

Do something else until you calm down.

When you are angry, everyone around you is hurt including you, and the point you are trying to make is lost in the flood of negative emotions.

Only try to explain yourself or get what you want when you are calm!

When you follow these anger prevention guidelines, this will be a miraculous tonic to improve the peace and harmony in every relationship!

— A TIME TO THINK EXERCISE —

Take a few moments to answers the following questions based on the reading material above. 

1. Value. From the lesson you have just learned, what three bits of information are important to you in a very personal and useful way?

 2. Goal. When you apply this information to your daily life, precisely what do you want to achieve? This is your goal. 

 3. Motivation. As you strive to achieve your goal, what three things will you do to keep your motivation high? 

4. Power-image. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you have already successfully achieved your goal. What does it look, sound, and feel like? Describe in detail what you noticed when your eyes were closed. " 

5. Confirmation. When applying this lesson, what will other people notice is different about you? When others notice your positive improvements, this is proof you are on target for success. 

___________

Class # 2: Make an Anger Control Plananger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wife

Be proactive to prevent anger.

If anger never begins to grow, you will never have to worry about slipping, expressing it, and causing injury to yourself and your loved ones.

One of the most effective ways to stop anger triggers is a well rehearsed "Anger Control Plan."

Like a fire safety plan that can be designed and then rehearsed to be prepared should a fire break out, so too an Anger Control Plan is ready to control anger when needed.

An Anger Control Plan can rescue you from anger slips.

This plan puts numerous situation specific strategies at your fingertips that are ready for immediate implementation.

Besides constructing an Anger Control Plan, you need to rehearse it in your mind. You need to mentally practice exactly how you will put to use the strategies that will prevent anger and keep you calm. 

Until you have a high level of self-control, I suggest that you review your Anger Control Plan each day.

You can even turn your Anger Control Plan into a brief meditation by closing your eyes and imagining common events where you start to become angry, and then you apply an appropriate strategy as listed in your plan.

Selecting the same time each day to review your plan is probably a good idea. Doing so will create a positive habit that will increase the likelihood of consistently doing this necessary mental exercise. 

Taking this mental rehearsal seriously will make a difference when you are confronted with a real event.

Your Anger Control Plan Will make the difference between expressing anger and staying calm.

Rehearsing your Anger Control Plan will prepare you so you know what to do should you become angry—and most importantly, you will do it without having to think. 

When you are angry, your thinking is impaired. Simply knowing what to do without thought is often your best strategy. An Anger Control Plan offers you this advantage.

Here's how to make your Anger Control Plan

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeDivide a sheet of paper or a computer document into two columns.

In the first column, make a list of everyday situations that trigger anger.

Leave space between each item.

List such things as rude people, a critical partner, kids fighting, difficulties at work, and other stressful situations. Your list should itemize your anger issues.

In the second column, corresponding to each item in the first column, write down what you need to do to stay calm when the specific situation occurs.

For rude people, you might write, "Bite my tongue or remain quiet." For, "My partner being critical, you could write, "Tell him his words hurt, then walk away."

I recommend you read your Anger Control Plan each day for at least three weeks, or as long as necessary, until you have mastered it and can stay calm regardless of the situation.

Having your Anger Control Plan at the forefront of your mind will help you stay calm when a challenging situation presents itself and you are attempted to express anger.

When the moment of truth arrives and you feel anger building, your plan is there to help you stay calm and prevent destructive anger from being expressed.

Every couple of days, when you are just beginning to learn how to manage your anger, update your Anger Control Plan to include new insights you have learned about your personal anger triggers and what you can do to counter them and remain calm. 

You should have your Anger Control Plan prepared and ready to use as needed. It is one more tool, amongst many, allowing you to take responsibility for your behavior and guiding you in how to stay calm.

Being vigilant to stop anger is an essential part of your overall anger control strategy.

— A TIME TO THINK EXERCISE —

Take a few moments to answers the following questions based on the reading material above. You can add personal notes at the end.

1. Value. From the lesson you have just learned, what three bits of information are important to you in a very personal and useful way?

 2. Goal. When you apply this information to your daily life, precisely what do you want to achieve? This is your goal. 

 3. Motivation. As you strive to achieve your goal, what three things will you do to keep your motivation high? 

4. Power-image. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you have already successfully achieved your goal. What does it look, sound, and feel like? Describe in detail what you noticed when your eyes were closed. " 

5. Confirmation. When applying this lesson, what will other people notice is different about you? When others notice your positive improvements, this is proof you are on target for success. 

Class # 3: Advanced Anger Management Techniques

1. Be unconditionally kind 

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeBe kind to another, even when your partner is not treating you the way you want.

When you are kind, even when you are tempted to express anger, you will cause the situation to remain peaceful.

Your kind behavior may change a partner that is in the moment hostile and ready to become angry into a pleasant person to be around.

For example, if someone is unpleasant toward you, rather than reacting in turn with hostility, ask the offending person how he or she feels. Show interest and concern. This may soften their heart and they will then be nice to you.

As angry behaviors are contagious, so too are behaviors of kindness.

Giving an irritating or hostile partner the opportunity to express how he or she feels is an act of kindness and may quickly transform a tense and difficult moment into one that is pleasant.

Kindness crushes anger!

Make life easier for all; live without anger and seek opportunities to be kind.

2. Live a less stressed life

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeDo you put too much pressure on yourself?

Do you commit — even if only in your own mind — to do more than you can finish?

If you answered "yes," then you are often frustrated, overwhelmed, and disappointed in yourself.

Given the hectic lives of many people who juggle family, personal needs, and work, it is not surprising that many people are short on time, and as a result, they become highly stressed.

We all need a balance in life that includes family, work, recreation, relaxation, and plain old rest.

Doing nothing is sometimes the most important thing to do! 

The point is this: When life is imbalanced, stress will build up, and then anger is expressed.

This is sad. Often, the hectic schedule, effort, and self-sacrifice are with the noble intent to benefit loved ones.

However, the result of all the effort is tension, anger, and emotional pain. Thus, all the 'noble efforts' bear little or even no fruit at all!

Some specific stressors that can contribute to anger are: 

  • Lack of time 
  • Lack of sleep 
  • Lack of sunlight
  • Hunger (not eating regular meals or the wrong type of meals) 
  • Financial pressure 
  • Lack of downtime 
  • Being depressed
  • Too much responsibility 
  • Relationship disharmony
  • Lack of exercise
  • Poor health
  • Side effects of medication
  • Poor parenting skills for those of you that have young children

Regardless, you need to take 100% responsibility for your staying calm, even when you feel like getting angry.

Yet there are certain conditions that make staying calm and anger-free more challenging.

An imbalanced life that naturally contains large amounts of stress is just such a situation.

Manage your overall level of stress. Then staying calm in all situations will be proportionally easier.

When you are relaxed, you are more patient, easygoing, kind, and resilient — all good 'anger busting' ingredients.

3. The Time-out Technique

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeBeing a calm and anger-free person will positively influence all areas of your life and contribute to increased success with your family and in your work.

Be the person others like to be around and want to help.

This gift of success is only offered to the person who is calm and remains that way.

When you feel anger growing within, or it is actually being expressed, take a break from being in the same room with the person you are angry with.

Wait until you have calmed down before you resume the conversation.

It may take five minutes or five hours for the necessary calmness to return.

While you wait, do something else. For example, go for a walk, call a friend, go for a drive, or go shopping.

It is important to tell your partner that you will return and that you are not rejecting him or her.

Tell them the reason you are taking a "time-out" is so you can stay calm and not hurt anyone with your anger. If possible, inform your partner when you hope to return.

Some couples designate a room in the house as a "time-out room" where someone can go, close the door, and be alone until they have calmed down.

In the time-out room, there can be magazines, a computer, a phone, and other items that can be used to distract oneself from the topic that is triggering the angry feelings.

The time to leave the designated room is only when you have become calm and are certain you can remain that way.

Try to get an agreement from your partner that if you need to call a "time-out," he or she will cooperate and not pursue you.

If you are trying to leave a stressful situation that could lead to a confrontation, the worst thing that could happen is that your partner blocks your way or follows you. Blocking a partner's exit has provoked many violent clashes.

Obviously, this needs to be avoided for countless reasons.

If you think the "time-out technique" would help you, discuss it with your partner.

Discuss how you may need to leave when you feel anger building and request acceptance of that need, not opposition.

If you call a "time-out," assure your partner that you will return later and then continue the discussion.

A "time-out" is not a technique to avoid your partner or an important topic. Rather, is it a tool to avoid becoming angry and hurting yourself and others.

While the "time-out technique" is useful, and for some even necessary, it is not the preferred solution.

It is better to learn how to control yourself and successfully manage a situation without having to run away.

For some, the "time-out technique" is needed as a starting point to break a bad cycle of anger and retaliation.

Once this has been achieved, more effective anger management tools and strategies can be used.

5. Be honest about your anger

anger issues,anger management,angry husband,angry wifeDon't live with anger.

Try self-help anger management books and anger management tips and suggestions to stop your destructive anger.

For example, using the free anger management techniques above may be sufficient for you to control your anger and stay calm.

Many people can stay calm when they understand how destructive anger is and they put their mind to living peacefully.

However, if self-help anger management techniques are insufficient for you and you find you continue to get angry, don't give up.

Difficult to control anger or rage means you need to go to the next step and get professional help.

Find a credentialed professional that specializes in anger issues and get the anger management help you need.

You deserve a successful and healthy life — and you can only have that if you live calmly, and then others can love you and love to be around you... this is a simple fact of life!

You need to be honest with yourself. If you need help controlling your anger... then get help.

— A TIME TO THINK EXERCISE —

Take a few moments to answers the following questions based on the reading material above. You can add personal notes at the end.

1. Value. From the lesson you have just learned, what three bits of information are important to you in a very personal and useful way?

 2. Goal. When you apply this information to your daily life, precisely what do you want to achieve? This is your goal. 

 3. Motivation. As you strive to achieve your goal, what three things will you do to keep your motivation high? 

4. Power-image. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you have already successfully achieved your goal. What does it look, sound, and feel like? Describe in detail what you noticed when your eyes were closed. " 

5. Confirmation. When applying this lesson, what will other people notice is different about you? When others notice your positive improvements, this is proof you are on target for success. 

___________

Get more anger management help

The following are some additional sources for information on anger issues and anger management:

Anger management training Wikipedia

Anger information from the American Psychological Association

Canadian Mental Health Association anger management tips

Mayo Clinic, 10 Anger Management Tips

Anger management self-help

Get your FREE 26-page Anger Management Guide NOW

Click - Anger Management Guide

See our educational Anger Management Infographic

Watch our Anger Control Video

Anger management books — easy to use and powerful

For stubborn or difficult to control anger, I suggest you consider purchasing one or both of my anger management books.

Anger Management Workbook

Anger Control Audio Book

Topics: Anger issues, Anger management