Now that the affair has ended, you and your partner want to rebuild your marriage or committed relationship. How many details to disclose depends on many different considerations. However, if you had unprotected sex there is only one way to proceed—being upfront and open about this with your partner.
Coping with infidelity includes dealing with the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases.
You ended the affair with your outside lover, and you and your partner are in the process of recovering from the affair and have agreed to rebuild your marriage or committed relationship.
The fact is, if you had unprotected sex with your illicit lover. Your partner needs to know this. Before you resume a normal sex life with your him or her you need to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases.
Getting tested is not an act of kindness, optional or voluntary. It is quite simply life and death concern and is absolutely necessary for very obvious reasons. Coping with infidelity and its aftermath is not pleasant.
Many serious and even deadly diseases are transmitted sexually. If you need to know more about this, speak to your doctor.
It is very difficult to explain to your partner after the affair how you had been so foolish and engaged in unprotected sex. Worse, you may have had sex with your husband, wife or partner during the time you were involved with your outside lover, and he or she has been exposed—yes, this will be a nightmare to deal with.
Regardless of what your partner knows, regardless of what you have done and what you have disclosed, you need to tell your partner all the details regarding any unsafe sex you may have had. He or she needs to know so both of you can do the responsible and safe thing and get whatever appropriate medical testing and attention necessary to safeguard your health.
Recovering from an affair requires facing the reality of what happened
If you had unprotected sex with an outside person, and you are in the future planning to have sex with your partner, it is unconscionable to proceed while hiding from him or her the fact that you had unprotected sex.
This is not punitive. It is common sense and a moral obligation.
I know this is very unpleasant, but you chose to cheat and this is part of coping with infidelity and its consequence. You made a mess and now you need to clean it up. Rebuilding your marriage after an affair requires giving attention to many details—even unpleasant ones. You made a mess and now you need to clean it up. This is part of recovering after an affair.
Assertions by your outside lover that's he or she is/was clean and a condom was not necessary is meaningless. Your paramour's assertion may be a very self-serving comment and cannot be depended on. Infidelity includes hefty portions of deceit and irresponsibility. To believe that when it comes to sexual health suddenly truthfulness is paramount is silly.
How to forgive infidelity
Since a big part of the betrayal of marital infidelity is deception, the cure is honesty.
You and your partner have decided to rebuild your marriage or committed relationship. Your partner is wondering how to forgive the infidelity so you can have back the trust and love you once had.
Recovering from an affair requires honesty even if it hurts your partner who was the victim of your infidelity. Simply there is no other way. When it comes to health, you must be open and you must be honest.
Watch the video and learn how lying destroys relationships.
Learn how to Survive Infidelity with my best self-help books, available on Amazon.
Most often the assistance of a relationship professional who specializes in infidelity is required to help you survive infidelity. Below are sources where you can find qualified therapists.What to Do After the Affair.