Forgiveness is an essential component when recovering fully from infidelity.
My own research on the topic of 'forgiveness' shows there is much confusion regarding this issue. Some people are of the mind that forgiveness is a gift to oneself and to the offender.
Forgiveness requires that the perpetrator of the injury is remorseful, and that he or she takes 100% responsibility for the affair, which she or he proves in 'word and deed'. Then he or she can request forgiveness.
To just 'let-go'
Forgiving someone when they are not remorseful or have not requested forgiveness is not really 'forgiveness.'
True forgiveness is a dynamic that occurs between two people.
To 'let go' of anger or claims of injustice towards an unrepentant perpetrator is an act of choosing a peaceful life over a life of conflict and stress. As such, I refer to 'letting go' of anger and its derivatives as old-fashioned 'common-sense.'
Although it makes sense to let go of resentment towards an unrepentant perpetrator, it is not easy to do. For those of you who are on a spiritual path, whether rooted in organized religion or your own creative spiritual discipline, you have spiritual tools available for use to assist you in moving forward with your life regardless of what your cheating partner has done, leaving painful episodes behind.
When a person just 'lets go' of resentment toward someone who has injured them, the relationship continues to suffer. The individual who has 'let go' may be free of the emotional trauma rooted in the past and caused by a particular individual. However, relationship recovery is impossible. For example, in the case of infidelity, the offending partner can still not be trusted. After all, he or she is not remorseful.
Healing from infidelity requires 'forgiveness.' There are precise steps to get to the point where a person is entitled to ask for forgiveness and the injured partner is of the mind to forgive.
Learn more about the necessary steps to full recovery. Check out my book Surviving Infidelity: Making Amends, Restoring Trust
Confidential Forgiveness Quiz: Does your partner deserve to be forgiven?
Forgiveness is dynamic between two people. As such, not every person is entitled to be forgiven for their relationship sins. Take this CONFIDENTIAL QUIZ (no email necessary) and get immediate results to see if your partner who cheated on you has earned the right to be forgiven.
Watch this video to learn how to forgive your partner who cheated.
Most often the assistance of a relationship professional who specializes in infidelity is required to help you survive infidelity. Below are sources where you can find qualified therapists.